Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, individuals believe that accepting their fate,
such
as working in a toxic environment or having financial difficulties, is better than trying to get out from
Change preposition
of
those kind
of Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
condition
. In my opinion, it is far better for Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
people
to immediately start thinking about their next move once they realize that they are in such
a bad situation,
because there is a bigger chance for them to achieve something greater once they decide to take Remove the comma
apply
action
.
On the one hand, some people
choose accepting
their current circumstances rather than take Change the verb form
to accept
an
Correct article usage
apply
action
because they think that once they take the
Correct article usage
apply
action
, they will face a harder challenge ahead. In fact, there are so many uncertainties that might not going
to be Change the verb form
go
be going
favorable
for them. Change the spelling
favourable
As a result
, individuals believe that they might have to deal with greater problems than what they already have in the present. For example
, employees with low-paid salaries prefer to stay in their current workplace, simply because they are afraid of being unemployed for a long time, especially after hearing the news about the increasing unemployment rates these days, and ended
up with no salary at all.
Wrong verb form
end
In contrast
, people
have to do something regarding many aspects in
their life. Change preposition
of
Although
there might be uncertainties in this
fast-changing world, a
good preparation can always help Remove the article
apply
people
to execute their action
plan
. Once they start to get Fix the agreement mistake
plans
our
Correct your spelling
out
from
a bad situation, they are likely to meet new opportunities that can improve the quality of their lives. Change preposition
of
Therefore
, there are much higher possibilities for them to achieve something better than the current situation. To illustrate, when an employee started
to look for a new job Wrong verb form
starts
in
several websites or Change preposition
on
asking
their relatives, Wrong verb form
ask
then
started
to prepare Wrong verb form
start
for
the CV or Change preposition
apply
taking
courses to improve their skills, there are bigger chances for them to get a job with a better salary. Meanwhile, those who did not do anything might Wrong verb form
take
ended
up stuck in Change the verb form
end
such
a toxic environment for a long time.
In conclusion, it is true that people
can face a lot of uncertainties or even a
greater Correct article usage
apply
challenge
if they try to get out Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
from
their current zone. Change preposition
of
However
, I tend to believe that individuals should take an
Correct article usage
apply
action
once they faced
some difficulties in their life, either related to professional or personal matters, as there will be Wrong verb form
face
much
more opportunities open for those who believe that they deserve better.Fix the agreement mistake
many
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Task Response
You have addressed both views and given a clear opinion on the topic, which is excellent. However, it would be beneficial to expand on the examples provided to create a more compelling argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve further, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next would enhance the overall flow of the essay.
General
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be improved for better readability. For example, 'thinking about their next move' could be rephrased for clarity, and 'might going to be' should be corrected to 'might not be.'
General
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph is well-organized and focused on a single idea, supporting the overall argument effectively.
Task Response
Your opinion is clearly stated and supported through logical reasoning and examples.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.