The population of the cities is increasing and more people are buying cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve those issues?
The population of cities is increasing and more people are buying 
cars
 for Use synonyms
first
 time.
With increasing the Change the article
the first
number
 of citizens in the cities and, simultaneously, rose the demand for Use synonyms
cars
. The main problems that came from these are  Use synonyms
traffic
 jams and Use synonyms
air
 Use synonyms
pollution
. Use synonyms
However
 , with certain measures, Linking Words
such
 as improving public Linking Words
transport
 and making it electrified, Use synonyms
this
 problem can be tackled.
The Linking Words
numbers
 of Fix the agreement mistake
number
cars
 growing rapidly in urban areas Use synonyms
are
 causing terrible issues Correct subject-verb agreement
is
such
 as  Linking Words
traffic
 jams and Use synonyms
air
 Use synonyms
pollution
 in urban areas . As Use synonyms
a more individuals
 Correct the article-noun agreement
more individuals
a more individual
acquiring
 more Wrong verb form
acquire
cars
, the Use synonyms
number
 of Use synonyms
cars
 on the road is increasing , leading to several Use synonyms
traffic
 issues . Use synonyms
Furthermore
 rosing the first time Linking Words
cars
 are on the roads results in higher emissions , contributing significantly Use synonyms
Use synonyms
air
 Fix the infinitive
to air
pollution
. The relationship between   city population and Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cars
 purchases Fix the agreement mistake
car
impact
 on Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
air
 Use synonyms
pollution
. Use synonyms
For example
 , nowadays Tashkent city is facing Linking Words
with 
these problems: streets are clogged with Change preposition
apply
cars
 and Use synonyms
air
 quality is deteriorating rapidly . 
Use synonyms
However
, one of the more efficient ways to combat Linking Words
traffic
 congestion and Use synonyms
air
 Use synonyms
pollution
 is by improving public transportation systems and making them electric. When public Use synonyms
transport
 is convenient and reliable, the public can switch their private Use synonyms
cars
 to public transportation. Use synonyms
This
 shift can lead to a significant reduction in the Linking Words
number
 of Use synonyms
cars
 on the roads, alleviating Use synonyms
traffic
 congestion. Use synonyms
Moreover
, switching public Linking Words
transport
 to electric power can reduce emissions and improve Use synonyms
air
 quality. Berlin is a great example of Use synonyms
this
 case; Linking Words
this
 city’s Linking Words
traffic
 flow and Use synonyms
air
 quality have been improved by the efficiency of electric public Use synonyms
transport
.
In conclusion, the growing population and increasing Use synonyms
number
 of car purchases cause challenges. Use synonyms
However
, by improving public Linking Words
transport
 and making it electric, we can solve Use synonyms
traffic
 jams and Use synonyms
air
 Use synonyms
pollution
.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring logical flow between paragraphs. Some transitions in the essay could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence.
task achievement
Clarify points more thoroughly. While the main issues and solutions are identified, provide deeper insights and explanations where needed.
task achievement
Try to enrich your examples. Although the example of Tashkent and Berlin provided were relevant, additional and more diverse examples can substantiate your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which neatly summarize the problem and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Main points like traffic jams, air pollution, and solutions by improving public transport are clearly mentioned and adequately supported.
task achievement
Providing specific examples like Tashkent and Berlin makes your argument more concrete and relatable.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite