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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrival in different parts of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrival in different parts of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #tourist #parts #world #features #comparisons
The line graph demonstrates the foreign visitors
count
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in various regions across the world
such
 as North
America
, central and eastern Europe, south-east Asia, sub-Saharan Africa, and South
America
 over a
period
 of fifteen years i.e., from 1990 to 2005.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the international tourist visits were increased over the
period
 in all the listed areas.
However
, the northern and the southern parts of
America
 were listed to be the highest and the least
visiting
Replace the word
visited
show examples
 places respectively. In the year 1990, about 70
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas visitors
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
arrived in North
America
, making it the highest tourist spot. Their
number
 was augmented over time and by the year 2000, it was raised by 20
Change to singular
million
show examples
millions
 and remained in a plateau till the end of the
period
.
In contrast
, South
America
, in spite of its doubled international tourist visits which were only one-seventh of the North American visitors
initially
, remained to be the region with the least
number
 of guests.
Moreover
, the same trend was seen in the case of sub-Saharan African travellers but they were ahead of South
America
 by about 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
In addition
, the European
visitiors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 were about three times of South American tourists. They were maximised during the decade and at
last
Add a comma
last,
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 identical to North
America
.
Furthermore
, the south-eastern part of Asia had
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
 the
number
 of South American
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 at the beginning of the
period
 and
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
 they were about 50
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in
number
.
Submitted by sivaleelamahendra1214 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words america, period, millions, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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