Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Regarding the fact that we are living in the modern world, quite a few
people
make an effort to determine new profitable approaches death
warrant issues. Change preposition
to death
Consequently
, a considerable number of people
firmly state that chastening is crucial in order to ensure peace and tranquility
, Change the spelling
tranquillity
while
the other majority of people
unanimously denounce and claim that executions of felons should be banned. Personally, I hold the view that we should ponder over this
tender subject equally and properly. The following essay targets to support the mentioned statements above with appropriate reasons and instances.
Above all
, I would like to point out that unfortunately, even after several centuries people
still continue to commit brutal crimes which are considered to be threats towards the safety and well-beings
of citizens. Correct your spelling
well-being
In addition
, it is apparent that we come accross
Correct your spelling
across
with
several news every day about innocent Change preposition
apply
people
,children and animals getting killed ruthlessly, massive robberies, youngsters
getting kidnapped, raped and murdered. Correct word choice
and youngsters
Therefore
some countries still uses
capital Change the verb form
use
punishments
in order to put an end to Fix the agreement mistake
punishment
such
barbarisms. For example
, in Iran
the death penalty or cutting fingers or sexual organs of criminals are being applied.
Add a comma
Iran,
On the other hand
, we must take into that some crimes happenes
unintentionally or because of some external triggering factors and they force that person to do something illegal or murder someone Correct your spelling
happens
happened
happen
while
self-defending yourself
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Such
fatal punishments could bring up serious mental traumas not only in felons,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
in their family and beloved
ones, Correct your spelling
loved
therefore
since we are living in a contemporary society I think that it would be better to avoid such
extreme penalties to ensure a mentally healthy environment.
All things considered, I am highly confident to restate that even if capital punishments are traumatizing events, but
there is still a need for them to guarantee safety and decrease the amount of violence.Correct word choice
apply
Submitted by nigar.rza.2502 on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic, make sure to develop each point more fully, using specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to present your points more clearly and logically, ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next. Use more linking phrases to ensure smooth transitions.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-rounded discussion of the topic, touching on both sides of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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