Due to the advancement of technology, more and more people are working from home. This has many benefits to workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Thanks to modern
technology
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, the vast majority of the public finds opportunities to
work
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out of their
work
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.
This
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phenomenon brings a plethora of merits for
employees
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.
Although
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the advantages of working remotely are undeniable, it may have some demerits as well. On one hand, working at
home
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may be highly distractive and
employees
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would not be able to
work
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accurately. Since they may have little children and pay almost of attention to them
instead
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of working.
Also
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, working at
home
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does not provide a workplace environment and
people
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tend to feel more convenient. They could not experience discipline at all. In My opinion, workers should have a sense of
workplace
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the workplace
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to
work
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efficiently. Apart from that, many crowds tend to misuse or sometimes abuse managers's absence.
This
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may cause a significant decrease in the company's productivity. The more staff become reluctant to
work
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, the more companies may go bankrupt. I think training should be provided before using
technology
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for
work
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.
On the other hand
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, working at
home
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can prevent traffic jams.
Specially
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Especially
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in megacities, the majority of
people
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have to stuck in traffic jams which is not only a kind of time consuming, but
also
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would make them utterly nervous. Apart from that, If many
people
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work
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at
home
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and do not carry their own cars, the air pollution would be decreased.
For Example
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, in
widespread
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the spread
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of
Covid-19
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COVID-19
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, the quality of air was extremely good since many individuals had to stay at
home
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and use special platforms
instead
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of working in offices. I believe that working far from the workplace might be a solution to air pollution issues Apart from that, during illness time,
people
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who
work
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in special workplaces like banks, have the opportunity to stay at
home
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and do their responsibilities. It would be beneficial to either
employees
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or
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apply
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colleagues and customers. Since many diseases are contagious.
In addition
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, workers can use applications that are designed in advance for meetings,
such
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as Skype, to follow them
while
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were resting until they feel better. In my point of view staying at
home
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would be the best cure for many diseases and by developing
technology
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, many
people
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can
work
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and rest Simultaneously. In conclusion,
although
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working far from the office may cause distraction and misuse, by developing applications and
technology
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,I wholeheartedly believe that
employees
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will be able to get a ride away from traffic and have a chance to stay at
home
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while
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being sick with new platforms and
technology
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.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structures and eliminating minor grammatical errors. This will make your writing clearer and easier to follow.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully supported with specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Minimize repetition and focus on concisely presenting your ideas. This will enhance the clarity of your response.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic effectively and offers a balanced view of both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant examples, such as the impact of COVID-19 on air quality, which supports your points well.
complete response
Your writing shows a clear understanding of the topic and a comprehensive response to the task. Good job!

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advancement of technology
  • work from home
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • daily commute
  • job satisfaction
  • productivity
  • cost savings
  • transportation costs
  • disposable income
  • environmental impact
  • carbon emissions
  • traffic congestion
  • sustainable
  • professional and personal responsibilities
  • rigid work schedule
  • mental and physical health
  • exposure to illnesses
  • control over work environment
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