Due to the advancement of technology, more and more people are working from home. This has many benefits to workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Thanks to modern
technology
, the vast majority of the public finds opportunities to
work
out of their
work
.
This
phenomenon brings a plethora of merits for
employees
.
Although
the advantages of working remotely are undeniable, it may have some demerits as well. On one hand, working at
home
may be highly distractive and
employees
would not be able to
work
accurately. Since they may have little children and pay almost of attention to them
instead
of working.
Also
, working at
home
does not provide a workplace environment and
people
tend to feel more convenient. They could not experience discipline at all. In My opinion, workers should have a sense of
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
to
work
efficiently. Apart from that, many crowds tend to misuse or sometimes abuse managers's absence.
This
may cause a significant decrease in the company's productivity. The more staff become reluctant to
work
, the more companies may go bankrupt. I think training should be provided before using
technology
for
work
.
On the other hand
, working at
home
can prevent traffic jams.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
in megacities, the majority of
people
have to stuck in traffic jams which is not only a kind of time consuming, but
also
would make them utterly nervous. Apart from that, If many
people
work
at
home
and do not carry their own cars, the air pollution would be decreased.
For Example
, in
widespread
Correct your spelling
the spread
show examples
of
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
, the quality of air was extremely good since many individuals had to stay at
home
and use special platforms
instead
of working in offices. I believe that working far from the workplace might be a solution to air pollution issues Apart from that, during illness time,
people
who
work
in special workplaces like banks, have the opportunity to stay at
home
and do their responsibilities. It would be beneficial to either
employees
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
colleagues and customers. Since many diseases are contagious.
In addition
, workers can use applications that are designed in advance for meetings,
such
as Skype, to follow them
while
were resting until they feel better. In my point of view staying at
home
would be the best cure for many diseases and by developing
technology
, many
people
can
work
and rest Simultaneously. In conclusion,
although
working far from the office may cause distraction and misuse, by developing applications and
technology
,I wholeheartedly believe that
employees
will be able to get a ride away from traffic and have a chance to stay at
home
while
being sick with new platforms and
technology
.
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structures and eliminating minor grammatical errors. This will make your writing clearer and easier to follow.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully supported with specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Minimize repetition and focus on concisely presenting your ideas. This will enhance the clarity of your response.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic effectively and offers a balanced view of both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant examples, such as the impact of COVID-19 on air quality, which supports your points well.
complete response
Your writing shows a clear understanding of the topic and a comprehensive response to the task. Good job!

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advancement of technology
  • work from home
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • daily commute
  • job satisfaction
  • productivity
  • cost savings
  • transportation costs
  • disposable income
  • environmental impact
  • carbon emissions
  • traffic congestion
  • sustainable
  • professional and personal responsibilities
  • rigid work schedule
  • mental and physical health
  • exposure to illnesses
  • control over work environment
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