The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The chart demonstrates the usage of different screens

such

Linking Words

as mobiles, laptops, tablets, computer desktops, TVs with flat

screen

Fix the agreement mistake

screens

show examples

and conventional

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

by the

middle age

Correct your spelling

middle-aged

show examples

group people of Canada to view television

programmes

Use synonyms

in the years 2009 and 2019.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television

programmes

Use synonyms

were mostly watched through conventional TVs

initially

Linking Words

, later they were replaced by televisions with flat screens.

However

Linking Words

, the usage of mobile phones and tablets

was

Verb problem

has

show examples

increased.

In contrast

Linking Words

, laptops and desktop computers were reported with minimal usage. In the year 2009, most of the Canadians preferred following

Use synonyms

programmes

Use synonyms

on traditional screens, who were about 34%

whereas

Linking Words

only 5% viewed in tabs. The laptop and mobile viewers were four and three times

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the tablet screen watchers respectively.

Moreover

Linking Words

, only 8% of the population used

flat screned

Correct your spelling

flat-screen

televisions. The other 18% of the citizens used

computer's

Change noun form

computer

show examples

desktop

Fix the agreement mistake

desktops

show examples

. With regards to the year 2019, the followers of

Use synonyms

programmes

Use synonyms

watching through ancient

Use synonyms

screen

Fix the agreement mistake

screens

show examples

were just about one-ninth of the initial viewers

whereas

Linking Words

the tablet users were

rised

Correct your spelling

raised

risen

by four times.

In contrast

Linking Words

, laptop and desktop users were reduced and remained at 12% each. The

canadians

Change the capitalization

Canadians

show examples

watching

flat screened

Add a hyphen

flat-screened

show examples

TVs were augmented by three times.

In addition

Linking Words

, mobile phone

userd

Correct your spelling

users

used

were

icreased

Correct your spelling

increased

by 11%.

Submitted by sivaleelamahendra1214 on Fri Jul 19 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, whereas".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, programmes with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

210 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie chart
percentage
proportion
comparison
device
traditional TV
laptop
mobile phone
tablet
streaming services
usage
trend
shift
technological advancements
viewing habits

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people believe that time spent on electronic games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

To conclude, having too many toys will help the children to grow faster but it will have drawbacks which need to be antisipated.