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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the annual income of languages-related jobs in US dollars in five cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the annual income of languages-related jobs in US dollars in five cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#income #jobs #dollars #five #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
salaries
 of
language
-related careers in the United States
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
(
Mexico
, Dubia, Paris, Munich, and
Toronto
) .
Overall
,
Salaries
Correct article usage
the Salaries
show examples
 of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 work in English are the highest in
Toronto
,
while
  English jobs'
salaries
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the lowest in
Mexico
. In the other
nations
Add a comma
nations,
show examples
 they have more income
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
interpreter
Fix the agreement mistake
interpreters
show examples
 than
translatora
Correct your spelling
translator
translators
 and
language
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
. Interpreter's
salaries
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the biggest in
Toronto
, Munich, and Dubia (about 8000 , just above 7000, and exactly 6000 respectively).
However
, in
Mexico
Add a comma
Mexico,
show examples
 it is lower than other job categories around 2000, and in Paris as
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as Translator
salaries
just
Add a missing verb
are just
show examples
 above 60000. Translator incomes are more than
Language
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 in Paris and Munich both around 60000,
while
 it is similar
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
language
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 in
Toronto
 and
Mexico
 about 60000/and just under 20000 respectively.
In contrast
translators
Change noun form
translators'
translator's
show examples
salaries
less
Add a missing verb
are less
show examples
 than
language
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 in Dubia about 50000 to 600000.
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries, mexico, toronto, language, teacher with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual income
  • languages-related jobs
  • US dollars
  • five cities
  • highest income
  • lowest income
  • average income
  • significantly higher
  • second highest
  • one-fourth
  • gradual increase
  • variations
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