More and more serious crimes seem to be committed each year. Some think that the death penalty is the best way to deal with this problem while other people think different measures are more likely to be successful. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

In
this
modern era, the rate of scandal increases day by day, some people think that criminals should get only the passing penalty,
whereas
, some believe that governments can take other measures to reduce
this
problem. I will discuss both views with relevant examples and will conclude with my own opinions.
To begin
with, the first notion of the expiration penalty does not ensure, that corruption will decrease or not, but it will surely have an impact on the population of the nation, which will decline every year,
moreover
, criminals do not do misconduct always intentionally, sometimes, it happens by mistake or with the unconscious mind and they found guilty.
For example
, 25% prisoners of in the United States are teenagers, who took action
due to
their immaturity and in
this
case, giving the sentence of demise means not giving them another chance to improve themselves or taking from them zero
percent
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per cent
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chance to live second.
Consequently
, decreasing sanctions is not the only way to solve
this
issue. On the other side, there are a plethora of steps that can be taken by a prisoner in charge to mitigate the
offense
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offence
show examples
ratio,
such
as
counseling
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counselling
show examples
sessions for teenagers, knowing about their
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, and allowing them to pursue their hobbies in their free time, getting to know the problems of people who love to live alone, it will not just improve their
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
towards the public, but it will
also
give another chance to do something better in their life.
For instance
, five
percent
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per cent
show examples
of prisoners in the United States got relief from jails
due to
their improved nature.
Lastly
, everyone can become a better person after putting in some effort. To synopsize, I pen down saying that, the loss of life penalty is not only the way to deal with breach problems,
according to
my opinion, the government should take other measures to diminish the ratio of illegal acts.
Submitted by hkaur14165 on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly conveys your position and precisely paraphrases the topic. You should present a clearer thesis statement outlining the two views you will discuss.
task response
You have provided relevant examples, but try to be more specific and consistent with your statistics and examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning more smoothly between paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to improve flow and coherence throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea, and that idea is well-developed and supported. Avoid overloading paragraphs with multiple concepts.
task response
Your essay covers both sides of the argument, which is crucial for the task.
task response
The conclusion presents a clear opinion which is essential for the effectiveness of the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have made a good effort to provide examples to support your points, demonstrating an understanding of how to develop an argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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