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Band 4

In marriages today, some argue that is the responsibility of both spouses to earn a living for the family. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 argue that
marriages
Change the noun form
marriage
show examples
 responsibility of both spouses to earn a
liviing
Correct your spelling
living
 for the family. bur in my opinion
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the husband
sholud
Correct your spelling
should
 take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the family.
Body paragraph 1
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 our culture the
man
Use synonyms
 is
responsepel
Correct your spelling
responsible
to earn
Change preposition
for earning
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 living and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 care of his family financully . and the
women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
show examples
 should take care of the house and children .
she
Capitalize word
She
show examples
dose
Correct your spelling
does
show examples
 not have to work unless she
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a
drsire
Correct your spelling
desire
 to work.
this
Linking Words
 is what we have
larend
Correct your spelling
learnt
learned
 from our
culttru
Correct your spelling
culture
 and
relgon
Correct your spelling
religion
religions
.
Body paragraph 2
also
Linking Words
 in the other
Correct your spelling
culture
cluture
Add a comma
cluture,
show examples
 the
man
Use synonyms
 always was the
responspel
Correct your spelling
responsible
response
 one in the
familly
Correct your spelling
family
.
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
 the husband
sholud
Correct your spelling
should
 afford a good living.
most
Capitalize word
Most
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 the woman has the
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of the raise and
teching
Correct your spelling
teaching
 the kids. and aford for them
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food and
time
Use synonyms
 .to raise a child
Change preposition
in wath
show examples
wath
Correct your spelling
a
 good manors .
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
motherhood is
24/7
Correct article usage
a 24/7
show examples
 job
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
 a
pat
Correct your spelling
part
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.to
depaicts
Correct your spelling
depicts
depict
gaving
Correct your spelling
giving
having
 a
Correct your spelling
child
chaild
Add a comma
chaild,
show examples
 your full
time
Use synonyms
 need a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 and effort.
she
Capitalize word
She
show examples
 put so much effort
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 her house to make it
Rephrase
as peerfct
show examples
peerfct
Correct your spelling
perfect
. as
mach
Correct your spelling
much
 she can . the effort
doubal
Correct your spelling
doubled
 up
wen
Correct your spelling
when
show examples
 she
pregment
Correct your spelling
pregnant
.
pregmancy
Correct your spelling
pregnancy
 and child
dilvary
Correct your spelling
delivery
constad
Correct your spelling
constant
 a
grat
Correct your spelling
great
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
Add a missing verb
are responsbal
show examples
responsbal
Correct your spelling
responsible
 of.
ther
Correct your spelling
there
 for it is
fer
Correct your spelling
for
 that the
man
Use synonyms
 gat the
leving
Correct your spelling
living
 for the family .
Linking Words
also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
 the coking and
cleening
Correct your spelling
cleaning
 take
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
affort
Correct your spelling
effort
 and lock after them and
ther
Correct your spelling
their
 social.
Body paragraph 3
sometime
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
thir
Correct your spelling
there
 is
som
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 espshions that
maks
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 the wafi need to do
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both job to living .sometime the
husband
Change noun form
husband's
show examples
 income
so
Add a missing verb
is so
show examples
 law he cant
afoord
Correct your spelling
afford
 the
essental
Correct your spelling
essential
 family needs. so the
wafe
Correct your spelling
wife
wave
 fand
her self
Correct your spelling
herself
show examples
forst
Correct your spelling
first
 to work and cover
ther
Correct your spelling
her
 low
incom
Correct your spelling
income
 .
further
Linking Words
 more
ther
Correct your spelling
there
 are some
man
Use synonyms
 unresbonsbl and do
nat
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 care to
proved
Verb problem
provide
show examples
 them
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
good life.
Conclusion
it the end
ther maby
Correct your spelling
there may
another
Add a missing verb
be another
show examples
 cand of view
Correct pronoun usage
that agree
show examples
agree
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
show examples
to
Change preposition
that
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women help the
man
Use synonyms
 to
living
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 but as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that the
man
Use synonyms
resposbalty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to
family
Correct pronoun usage
his family
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 is the coract
anstan
Correct your spelling
aspect
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear introduction that outlines your main points and a conclusion that summarizes them. This will improve the structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphing to separate different points and ideas. This helps in maintaining clarity and cohesion in your writing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar. This can greatly enhance the clarity and readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Focus on using transitional phrases and connectors to link ideas smoothly. This helps in better coherence.
task achievement
You have expressed a clear opinion which forms the basis of your argument.
task achievement
Your essay touches on cultural perspectives, which adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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