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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people use the internet or various sources to search for solutions to their medical problems, is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #sources #search #development
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In
this
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 modern era, the
Internet
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 plays a crucial role in individuals lives.
Therefore
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, they use
this
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 for searching for treatment and medicines to cure their
disease
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due to
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this
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people
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 save
money
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 but sometimes they do not choose practised doctors for taking advice related to their problems and it leads to severe conditions in the end. So,
according to
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 me, it is a negative development in some ways but sometimes it saves vitamin M. Considering the negative effects of using the
internet
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 for curing the
disease
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, the First and foremost reason is website website-related medical treatment only has superficial information. To explicate it clearly, humankind suffering from any severe condition
such
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 as pneumonia, one can try to cure
this
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 by using online resources but he/she is not aware of the severity of the condition resultantly they becomes an Asthma patient.
Secondly
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, some folk deem that going to hospitals and clinics are waste of
money
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 and time.
Thus
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, they misunderstood the importance of the professional practicenor and tried to prevent their condition by home remedies.
Additionally
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,
people
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 who search for symptoms of any
disease
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 on the
Internet
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, they misguided by the
disease
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. Tacitly, there is a myriad of diseases which have the same signs and symptoms.
Hence
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, normal individuals are not aware of the proper
disease
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 and following the guidance of online resources they invite death.
For instance
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, diseases like cancer and normal fever both have the same signs at the start
according to
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 WHO guidelines. The public who try to take medicine by using online websites reach the
last
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 stage of cancer.
Nevertheless
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, Persons who come from a middle-class background, affording doctor’s fees is an uphill battle for them. Ergo, for
this
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 kind of
people
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internet
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 becomes a good source of information.
Furthermore
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, they can save
money
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 for their other use.
For example
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,
develop
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in developed
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country
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countries
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 like India and Nepal, many
people
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 are not able to pay doctors fees
whereas
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 the
Internet
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 helps them to get Information about any causes of body and
this
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 is
statement
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a statement
the statement
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 of one Indian survey.
To conclude
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,
People
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 who know their bodies very well for them there is no harm in using the
internet
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 to cure their diseases.
Consequently
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, it is preferable that taking advice from professional doctors is better.
However
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, it costs giving high amount of
money
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 but one can save their life.
Hence
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, it is a negative development to use the
Internet
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according to
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 my point of view but we can not deny the benefits of the
Internet
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.
Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has one clear central idea and avoid repetition of points to enhance the logical structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the use of linking words and phrases to create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide a more detailed analysis and support your main points with specific and accurate examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the discussion appropriately.
task achievement
The writer addresses both positive and negative aspects of using the Internet for medical advice, demonstrating a balanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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