the most imprtant aim of science should be to improve people lives

One of the major purposes of science is to improve
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and my opinion
at the end
. There are a lot of
inventions
nowadays that improve
people
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people's
show examples
lives,
such
as cars, planes and computers. First of all, cars help
people
move to another place
,
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apply
show examples
and some of the
people
traveled
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travelled
show examples
by
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
car.
Secondly
, planes help
people
to travel to
another nation
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other nations
show examples
and learn about new cultures and languages.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
also
important to highlight computers,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
help students to study and do research, not only students
use
computers,
every one
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everyone
show examples
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
for other purposes.
However
, a lot of
people
use
inventions
in the wrong way.
For example
, cell phones were used in the past the mobile
use
to connect with each other and chat with family and friends. But nowadays
people
use
phones for entertainment, and that makes
people
lazy. Again, TV
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
of the main
inventions
, but when
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
person
watch
Change the verb form
watches
show examples
TV a lot for
along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
time, that
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
cause obesity and health issues, like, high blood pressure.
For instance
, children play video games all the time, not only in their free time, and
this
cause
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causes
show examples
big
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
problems, in comparison with the children before the computer and TV.
To sum up
,
it is clear that
science improves
people
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people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inventions
have both effects, and all
people
should choose the good effect of the invention. I agree that science improves
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives and helps them.
Submitted by joudaalhammadi on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and makes a clear stand. However, there is room for improvement in providing more comprehensive and clear ideas. It would be helpful to expand on the points made and provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and presents an introduction and a conclusion, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to use more cohesive devices to connect your ideas and paragraphs better.
task achievement
While the essay has relevant examples, they could be more specific and better integrated into the main points. Try to elaborate on the examples and explain how they support your arguments more clearly.
supported main points
The main points are present but need better support. Try to provide more detailed arguments and ensure that each point is clearly explained and backed up with specific examples or evidence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a structured response to the topic.
complete response
The essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a balanced view by considering both the positive and negative aspects of scientific advancements.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided are relevant to the topic and help in illustrating the points made in the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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