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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

#people #work #time #employers #life
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People nowadays tend to put more
hours
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 into their jobs compared to the past and it's a source of more stress
,
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apply
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 because most jobs in today's age are a 9-5 and employers expect you to fulfil that. Bosses can help out their
employees
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 by cutting their
hours
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 or hiring more people.
Furthermore
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, It is the norm today to have a 9-5 job and
while
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 it can help you to maintain a steady routine in your life at the same time it could create more fatigue and boredom at the workplace. A recent study has shown that working fewer
hours
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 can actually increase productivity,
hence
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, longer
hours
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 do not actually mean that more
work
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 is being done.
Moreover
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, managers can help their
employees
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 by reducing the
hours
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 they
work
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 and providing them with a better working environment.
In addition
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 to that, managers need to be careful of overworking their
employees
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. If someone comes to
work
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 in a place that they feel comfortable in and a reasonable amount of
work
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 is handed to them and expected to show up a fair number of
hours
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 a week they will surely be a lot more productive and that would
also
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 lead
for
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to
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 less stress for them. In conclusion,
while
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 it is normal to
work
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 for long
hours
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 these days companies need to re-evaluate that because more
hours
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 do not mean more productivity as we mentioned. Managers
also
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 have to provide their
employees
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 with better working conditions and that eventually leads to a company's success
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coherence cohesion
Introduce a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction, outlining the main points that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use transitional phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
More relevant and specific examples would strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of ideas. Once a concept is thoroughly discussed, move on to a new point to keep the reader engaged and maintain clarity.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reaffirms the main argument.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges the current norm of a 9-5 job and explores its implications on employee well-being.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • make ends meet
  • culture of 'presenteeism'
  • job insecurity
  • technological advancements
  • constant connectivity
  • globalization
  • irregular work hours
  • flexible working schedules
  • work-life balance
  • employee training and development
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • healthier work environment
  • mental health resources
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