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Band 5

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea ora waste of time?

#students #gap #year #university #travel #gain #work #idea #ora #waste #time
A trend
Correct article usage
Trend
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of
Change preposition
apply
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gap
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 become more and more popular because many
students
 take it before starting to go to college, travelling, or
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
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 work
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
. Some people might wonder
is
Correct word choice
if is
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 it a good idea or just
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of
time
. Personally, I think it is not wasting of
time
 at all.
Otherwise
,
students
 can
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
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 from it,
such
 as
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
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 about her or himself more deeply.
Students
or
Correct word choice
apply
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in their teenage
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 are still trying to define who themselves. By taking some
time
 or in
this
case
Add a comma
case,
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 is
gap
year
,
students
 will learn a lot, either hard skills or soft skills. In
gap
year
time
, they are not just sitting at home and preparing to get to
university
Correct article usage
the university
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 they want but
also
 doing useful activities. To illustrate,
students
 can take online courses for programming or cooking. Having said that, they will know are they have
passion
Correct article usage
a passion
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
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 it or not.
Besides
, they can consider
to
Correct word choice
whether to
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 take it as their major or not.
In other words
,
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
year
 possible
them
Change preposition
for them
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 to know their interest specifically.
Furthermore
,
gap
Add an article
a gap
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year
 can bring them to do anything they want that
have
Change the verb form
has
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 not happened.
Due to
 they spend around eight hours at school and study again at home, they often feel
burn
Wrong verb form
burned
show examples
 out. In their lifetime, maybe they want to do something but not have enough
time
 for it.
For example
, they can visit their dream places. On the other sides, they can try to search job and use the money to
travelling
Change the form of the verb
travel
show examples
. So,
gap
year
 offer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
amazing experiences for the
students
.
To sum up
,
gap
year
 is a totally brilliant idea. I am pretty sure, the
students
 will never regret it. But, not forget to
be mentioned
Wrong verb form
mention
show examples
,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
students
 have to maximize their
gap
year
 to be more valuable. Because there are some
students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 just
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
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 at home and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 nothing.
This
 we called a
totally
Change the word
total
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 waste of
time
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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task achievement
Strengthen your arguments by including more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, you could mention particular skills students might learn during their gap year or specific benefits observed from real cases.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Better use of linking words and phrases at the start of each paragraph would greatly enhance the logical flow of your essay.
overall
There are several grammatical and syntactical errors that make parts of the essay unclear. Review common grammar rules and consider running your essay through a grammar checker or seeking feedback from a mentor.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your main arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well, giving a balanced view on the topic before concluding with a strong personal opinion.
task achievement
You have included valid points about both personal development and potential drawbacks of not utilizing the gap year effectively.
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