IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
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The bar chart provides information about how
energy
Use synonyms
 and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 are used by an average Australian household.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest proportion was used in water heating and heating,
while
Linking Words
 the smallest percentage made up cooling in both charts. Focusing on
energy
Use synonyms
 use in Australian households the largest proportion used water heating was just under a
third,
Linking Words
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 used 32%
this
Linking Words
 was increased by 2%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, refrigeration used 7%,
whereas
Linking Words
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 used 14% which grew by merely 7%.
Energy
Use synonyms
 used by other appliances was less than a fifth but
this
Linking Words
 grew frequently to 28% in the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
. The proportion of lighting made up merely 4%,
while
Linking Words
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 comprised 8%
this
Linking Words
 was increased only to 4%. The smallest percentage is cooling
this
Linking Words
 made up 2%, but
Use synonyms
greenhouse
Correct article usage
the greenhouse
show examples
 used merely 3%. Respectively, Australian household
energy
Use synonyms
 use heating comprised 42%, compared
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 use less than a fifth
this
Linking Words
 decreased.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, emissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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