Nowadays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Freud said: "The
work
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with
love
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and
love
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to what you do is the most
importnat
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important
what the individual can be gifted with in
life
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". The more we
work
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, the more we
archieve
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achieve
, another
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
popular quote. With the time change, nowadays
are much
Verb problem
many
show examples
more things are very
expansive
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expensive
show examples
. But can we
access
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all of those goods, by overwork or feeling
stressful
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stressed
show examples
? What role
employers
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are employers
show examples
playing in that? In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss my opinion and will try to answer
on
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apply
show examples
those questions.
Primarilly
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Primarily
,
work
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has always been in very high demand,
however
Linking Words
never as today
work
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was not in that
gigagntic
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gigantic
ammount
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amount
and easy
access
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, as before we were lucking the job, money and
access
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to any goods, today - we are free
do
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to
show examples
have it all.The question is, can we as
human
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humans
show examples
beeing
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being
beings
physically and mentally set our
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life's
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lives
show examples
to the degree that it can be
archievable
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achievable
? In my opinion yes, we all know what balance is, good diet, regular
exercixes
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exercise
exercises
, time with family, friends and of course at our jobs.
Addionally
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Additionally
, a lot
the
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of the
show examples
compannies
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companies
offering
wellbeing
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well-being
show examples
sessions, therapy with
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a psychologist
show examples
psychologist
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psychologists
show examples
orsubconscious
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or subconscious
subconscious
treatment that have can be very valuable in a busy
life
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. Statistically, a bigger percentage of the company
offering
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offers
show examples
their employee many benefits,
such
Linking Words
as discounts for purchases, free tickets, lower cost of
hospitals service
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hospital services
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,
as well as
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trips and commuting.
Few
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A few
show examples
years ago companies started to encourage their
peple
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people
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work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
four days per week
instead
Linking Words
of five and later they have
beendemonstarting
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been demonstrating
later an
extremelly
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extremely
positive. The other
one
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apply
show examples
reason, that can be forgotten, is the fact that we are humans and
tending
Wrong verb form
tend
show examples
to always
work
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more than we should, as most of
Add an article
the experincing
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experincing
Correct your spelling
experiencing
feeling "
that is
Linking Words
not enough". It is a psychological trick about which psychologists are trying to explain, but no one seems to pay attention.
Therefore
Linking Words
, does
enterring
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entering
to the
marafon
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marathon
actually help us to
archieve
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achieve
our goal? Usually not if marafon lasts longer than
organism
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the organism
show examples
can afford without rest. I do believe the correct and individual rest can help us to
archieve
Correct your spelling
achieve
those goals. To summarise, I want to make a conclusion that we need balance, even if everything is
in
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at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high cost, we
stillhave
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still
an
access
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to
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
affordable staff.
Such
Linking Words
as moving to the countries where
government
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the government
show examples
actually
carers
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cares
show examples
about their workers, changing the company,
enjoing
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enjoying
cheaper leisure, finding
a similar
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similar minded friends
a similar minded friend
show examples
minded
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apply
show examples
friends, doing what
we
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they
show examples
love
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and
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work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
with
love
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, as mentioned
Freud
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by Freud
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
all can bring us immense
happy
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happiness
show examples
and most
important
Replace the word
importantly
show examples
-
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by krisjeffay on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure and flow, consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and sophisticated.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments.
task achievement
You make some insightful points about the impact of overwork and the importance of balance in life.
task achievement
You appropriately reference Freud's quote to provide a philosophical underpinning to your argument, which adds depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The inclusion of statistical references and real-world examples about company benefits and employee well-being initiatives adds credibility to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • make ends meet
  • culture of 'presenteeism'
  • job insecurity
  • technological advancements
  • constant connectivity
  • globalization
  • irregular work hours
  • flexible working schedules
  • work-life balance
  • employee training and development
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • healthier work environment
  • mental health resources
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