Nowadays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?
Freud said: "The
work
with love
and love
to what you do is the most importnat
what the individual can be gifted with in Correct your spelling
important
life
". The more we work
, the more we archieve
, another Correct your spelling
achieve
one
popular quote. With the time change, nowadays Correct pronoun usage
apply
are much
more things are very Verb problem
many
expansive
. But can we Correct your spelling
expensive
access
to
all of those goods, by overwork or feeling Change preposition
apply
stressful
? What role Replace the word
stressed
employers
playing in that? In Add a missing verb
are employers
this
essay
I will discuss my opinion and will try to answer Add a comma
essay,
on
those questions.Change preposition
apply
Primarilly
, Correct your spelling
Primarily
work
has always been in very high demand, however
never as today work
was not in that gigagntic
Correct your spelling
gigantic
ammount
and easy
Correct your spelling
amount
access
. Therefore
, as before we were lucking the job, money and access
to any goods, today - we are free do
have it all.The question is, can we as Correct your spelling
to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
beeing
physically and mentally set our Correct your spelling
being
beings
life's
to the degree that it can be Change noun form
lives
archievable
? In my opinion yes, we all know what balance is, good diet, regular Correct your spelling
achievable
exercixes
, time with family, friends and of course at our jobs. Correct your spelling
exercise
exercises
Addionally
, a lot Correct your spelling
Additionally
the
Change preposition
of the
compannies
offering Correct your spelling
companies
wellbeing
sessions, therapy with Correct your spelling
well-being
Correct article usage
a psychologist
psychologist
Fix the agreement mistake
psychologists
orsubconscious
treatment that have can be very valuable in a busy Correct your spelling
or subconscious
subconscious
life
.
Statistically, a bigger percentage of the company offering
their employee many benefits, Wrong verb form
offers
such
as discounts for purchases, free tickets, lower cost of hospitals service
, Fix the agreement mistake
hospital services
as well as
trips and commuting.
Few
years ago companies started to encourage their Change the article
A few
peple
Correct your spelling
people
work
four days per week Fix the infinitive
to work
instead
of five and later they have beendemonstarting
later an Correct your spelling
been demonstrating
extremelly
positive.
The other Correct your spelling
extremely
one
reason, that can be forgotten, is the fact that we are humans and Correct pronoun usage
apply
tending
to always Wrong verb form
tend
work
more than we should, as most of Add an article
the experincing
experincing
feeling "Correct your spelling
experiencing
that is
not enough". It is a psychological trick about which psychologists are trying to
explain, but no one seems to pay attention. Therefore
, does enterring
to the Correct your spelling
entering
marafon
actually help us to Correct your spelling
marathon
archieve
our goal? Usually not if marafon lasts longer than Correct your spelling
achieve
organism
can afford without rest. I do believe the correct and individual rest can help us to Add an article
the organism
archieve
those goals.
To summarise, I want to make a conclusion that we need balance, even if everything is Correct your spelling
achieve
in
Change preposition
at
the
high cost, we Correct article usage
a
stillhave
an Correct your spelling
still
access
to much
affordable staff. Correct quantifier usage
apply
Such
as moving to the countries where government
actually Add an article
the government
carers
about
their workers, changing the company, Correct your spelling
cares
enjoing
cheaper leisure, finding Correct your spelling
enjoying
a similar
Correct the article-noun agreement
similar minded friends
a similar minded friend
minded
friends, doing what Correct word choice
apply
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
love
and work
with Wrong verb form
working
love
, as mentioned Freud
. Change preposition
by Freud
This
all can bring us immense happy
and most Replace the word
happiness
important
- Replace the word
importantly
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
life
.Submitted by krisjeffay on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure and flow, consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and sophisticated.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments.
task achievement
You make some insightful points about the impact of overwork and the importance of balance in life.
task achievement
You appropriately reference Freud's quote to provide a philosophical underpinning to your argument, which adds depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The inclusion of statistical references and real-world examples about company benefits and employee well-being initiatives adds credibility to your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.