Some people believe that schools should teach foreign languages for primary school children. Is this a positive or negative development?
There has been a growing trend toward tailoring foreign
languages course
for primary school Fix the agreement mistake
language courses
children
more frequently than observed in previous generations. While
this
has admittedly certain benefits, I would convinced that this
is predominantly
negative development.
On the one hand, providing international vocabulary curriculums can be advantageous to a certain extent. The initial concern revolves around the Add an article
a predominantly
expand
Replace the word
expansion
in
worldwide Change preposition
of
culture
Replace the word
cultural
knowledge
as well as
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
the
mindset Change preposition
in the
in
Change preposition
of
children
. Teaching foreign languages
Change preposition
at in
in
early Correct your spelling
an
ages
assists kids in achieving new experiences Fix the agreement mistake
age
as well as
observation
about Add an article
an observation
Add an article
the surrounded
surrounded
world. Regarding Replace the word
surrounding
to
the Remove the preposition
apply
highly
potential of Change the word
high
internalizing
Add an article
an internalizing
the internalizing
second
language, it could be a foundation for the fast-paced development Correct article usage
a second
in
Change preposition
of
languages
skills in the future, Change the noun form
language
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
infant
Fix the agreement mistake
infants
more
promising opportunities in both school performance Change preposition
with more
as well as
career prospects.
On the other hand
, the aforementioned advantages are questionable at highly doubtful. In term
of Fix the agreement mistake
terms
children
Change noun form
children's
understandings
, the inability to understand thoroughly the nature of Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
languages
due to
the early live
age. Replace the word
life
This
is because their brains are constantly immature as
Correct word choice
and
children
can not apprehend the knowledge
well. As a result
, it sufficiently leads to difficulties in studying and worse still, the overload in academic experiences forfeit
the interest in learning. Correct subject-verb agreement
forfeits
For instance
, in Vietnam, the pressure of performing well in English raised a significant pressure in primary students. Additionally
, interact
with worldwide cultures and foreign Replace the word
interaction
languages
interrupt the internalize
progress of mother Wrong verb form
internalised
languages
as well as
awareness of nation unity. The mix of cultures and knowledge
potentially resulting
in a loss of Wrong verb form
results
directions
and leads to the misunderstanding about Fix the agreement mistake
direction
Correct article usage
the infant
infant
original nation.
In conclusion, Change noun form
infant's
while
educating youth in primary school foreign languages
could engage in undeniable advantages in term
of expanding Fix the agreement mistake
terms
knowledge
and promote
the Wrong verb form
promoting
languages
ability for Change noun form
language's
future
, I am convinced that these are eclipsed by adverse influences.Correct article usage
the future
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task achievement
Your essay covers most parts of the question, but some points need further development. For example, the point about opportunities in school performance and career prospects needs more elaboration.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are more clearly and comprehensively presented. Some sentences are confusing due to language issues, like 'initial concern revolves around the expand in worldwide culture knowledge.'
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. Instead of just mentioning pressure in Vietnam, explain how this pressure affects students' mental health or academic performance specifically.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay. Some ideas are not clearly connected. For instance, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be more smoothly connected.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed, relevant explanations. Some arguments are presented but not fully backed up with reasoning or examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally supported, but they could be developed further for a higher score.
task achievement
You have made a genuine effort to address the task question and have included both advantages and disadvantages.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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