Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays,
technology
plays a critical role in modern life, it is usually believed that the development of technology
makes crime
disappear. Conversely
, some people think that this
is the reason that encourages crime
. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both views before giving my opinion.
On the one hand, it is true that the development of technology
has brought many types of crimes. Because credit
cards are more popular with people, that is
the reason why cybercrime has significantly increased, which has caused million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
financial
losses and attention Change preposition
of financial
for
governments. Change preposition
from
For example
, hackers are attacking many bank’s databases with viruses created by them, so they can easily hack into their bank
and steal their money. Fix the agreement mistake
banks
Additionally
, after they hack into their bank or company’ database, they can steal the user's personal information such
as name, date of birth, ID number, credit
card,etc. Then
they can use them to do negative behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
such
as applying to create a new credit
card..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
On the other hand
, although
cybercrime is mentioned there which caused
many disadvantages, I believe that modern Wrong verb form
causes
technology
has reduced the crime
rate. Cybercrime is not easy to become, it can have high education and experiences
. Fix the agreement mistake
experience
Therefore
, the percentage of crime
in real life, especially stolen things, has decreased. Instead
of using money directly, individuals now are using credit
cards. Additionally
, thanks to the help of scientific improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
such
as many medicine
technologies or modern Replace the word
medical
technology
used to help identify and locate crime
in a short time, which help
significantly reduce the number of crimes.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
although
technology
has brought many negative problems, that is
not enough to outweigh advantages
. I completely believe that Correct article usage
the advantages
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
are
really helpful and our lives are becoming more modern.Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clearer structure. Use topic sentences to start each paragraph and make sure that each paragraph contains only one main idea.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will make your essay more convincing and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your transition between ideas to make your essay flow more smoothly. Linking words and phrases can help with this.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion by providing a clear overview of the competing views on the topic.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by considering both sides of the argument, which shows good critical thinking skills.