Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #technology #development #decreases #crime

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Nowadays,

technology

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plays a critical role in modern life, it is usually believed that the development of

technology

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makes

crime

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disappear.

Conversely

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, some people think that

this

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is the reason that encourages

crime

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. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both views before giving my opinion. On the one hand, it is true that the development of

technology

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has brought many types of crimes. Because

credit

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cards are more popular with people,

that is

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the reason why cybercrime has significantly increased, which has caused

million

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millions

show examples

financial

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of financial

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losses and attention

for

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from

show examples

governments.

For example

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, hackers are attacking many bank’s databases with viruses created by them, so they can easily hack into their

bank

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banks

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and steal their money.

Additionally

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, after they hack into their bank or company’ database, they can steal the user's personal information

such

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as name, date of birth, ID number,

credit

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card,etc.

Then

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they can use them to do negative

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

such

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as applying to create a new

credit

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card

Replace the punctuation

...

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On the other hand

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although

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cybercrime is mentioned there which

caused

Wrong verb form

causes

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many disadvantages, I believe that modern

technology

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has reduced the

crime

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rate. Cybercrime is not easy to become, it can have high education and

experiences

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experience

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Therefore

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, the percentage of

crime

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in real life, especially stolen things, has decreased.

Instead

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of using money directly, individuals now are using

credit

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cards.

Additionally

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, thanks to the help of scientific

improvement

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improvements

show examples

such

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as many

medicine

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medical

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technologies or modern

technology

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used to help identify and locate

crime

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in a short time, which

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

significantly reduce the number of crimes. In conclusion,

although

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technology

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has brought many negative problems,

that is

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not enough to outweigh

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

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. I completely believe that

technologies

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technology

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

really helpful and our lives are becoming more modern.

Submitted by document.hanie on Sat Jul 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay should have a clearer structure. Use topic sentences to start each paragraph and make sure that each paragraph contains only one main idea.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will make your essay more convincing and show a deeper understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving your transition between ideas to make your essay flow more smoothly. Linking words and phrases can help with this.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion by providing a clear overview of the competing views on the topic.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced discussion by considering both sides of the argument, which shows good critical thinking skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
surveillance
forensic science
cybercrime
data theft
anonymity
illicit activities
law enforcement
jurisdictions
crime prevention

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Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It has been suggested that primary school children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, the government emphasizes economic development above all other concerns. The benefits of this are it increases the annual income of the general public, and improves the infrastructure of a country.

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children as good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?