IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two pie charts illustrate, the proportions of the different
age
Use synonyms
 categories of citizens from
Oman
Use synonyms
 and
Spain
Use synonyms
 in the Year 2005 and their predicted values after 5 decades from that
Overal
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
Oman
Use synonyms
 had the lowest amount of people in
15
Correct article usage
the 15
show examples
-59
arange
Correct your spelling
range
Spain
Use synonyms
 had the lowest from
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
group
Use synonyms
moreover
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in both countries adults are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 common
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
. A glance at the pie charts
revelas
Correct your spelling
reveals
reveal
 that in 2005, the two
age
Use synonyms
 categories of below 14
years
Use synonyms
 and above 60
years
Use synonyms
 were the same in
Oman
Use synonyms
 which accounted
48
Change preposition
for 48
show examples
% for each.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the lowest reported proportion of 4% was presented as
15
Correct article usage
a 15
show examples
 - 59 year range.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when considering the Spanish population, about 14% of the total population
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the youngest
group
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
show examples
 people were the
Linking Words
secondly
Change the word
second
show examples
most common
age
Use synonyms
 category in
Spain
Use synonyms
, which is nearly twice as much
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
 and it is just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the percentage of the same
age
Use synonyms
 in
Oman
Use synonyms
.In the means of the eldest
group
Use synonyms
, it
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 a significant difference from
Oman
Use synonyms
 having 62%. When the forecasted values are considered, in
Oman
Use synonyms
,the density of the elders
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 expected to have
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5% than which was
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2005.
Although
Linking Words
 the second eldest
group
Use synonyms
 will remain constant for 50
years
Use synonyms
,
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
 range will be reduced by 11% during that period.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 2055
Spain
Use synonyms
 will reduce the
elder's
Replace the word
elderly's
show examples
 concentration by 16% from its value 50
years
Use synonyms
 ago. Despite the doubling of the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of people from the
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
show examples
 category, kid's percentage will
be remained
Change to the active voice
remain
have remained
show examples
 still in the same value as it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 in 2005.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, oman, spain, group, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: