IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that with the help of technology, there is little difficulty in solving complex mathematical problems. Therefore mathematics is no longer a mandatory subject at schools and colleges. To what extent do u agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your experience or knowledge.

#people #help #technology #difficulty #mathematics #schools #colleges #reason
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These days a group of
people
Use synonyms
 think that with the advanced
technology
Use synonyms
 developing it will take
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of things. So, some
people
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 think that
math
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subject
Use synonyms
 is no longer needed as a
subject
Use synonyms
 in the education system,
while
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 believe that it will always be
esseintial
Correct your spelling
essential
 in universities.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides and draw my personal conclusion.
In
Change preposition
On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand,
people
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 who have the thought of the advanced
technology
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 will do the complicated mathematical problems, and will reduce the time and effort which is being devocated in studying the
math
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, as a mathematician
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stead
Correct your spelling
instead
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 of studying
Change preposition
for 4
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4
Change preposition
for 4
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to 5 years in the university for a
Change noun form
bachelor's
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bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
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 degree,
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apply
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the
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apply
show examples
artificial intelligence can do what
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mathematician
Fix the agreement mistake
mathematicians
show examples
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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furthermore
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 less time is needed. That
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
 some individuals think that
math
Use synonyms
 should be removed as a
subject
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 from the educational system.
On the other hand
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,
people
Use synonyms
 who adopt the idea that
math
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 should be still educated regarding the
developing
Replace the word
development
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
. To illustrate,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
math
Use synonyms
subject
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 is not
for
Rephrase
only for
show examples
 solving complex equations but
for
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apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
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 helps with increasing the thinking process and the ability
of solving
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to solve
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real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
 problems.
Hence
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 the belief that the
math
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subject
Use synonyms
 must be taught in schools and colleges.
In addition
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, the
math
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subject
Use synonyms
 is one of the essential
Use synonyms
subject
Change to a plural noun
subjects
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 in the first years of the educational career, because it helps and improves the children to be creative not only in the
math
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
, but
also
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 with the other materials. For
an
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apply
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instance, the student who shows high grades in
math
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
also
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 shows high grades in the other school materials.
This
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 proves clearly that
math
Use synonyms
 is not only for solving problems. In conclusion, after a
carful
Correct your spelling
careful
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 analysis of both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
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 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that the
math
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
still must be in the educational process regarding the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by farissaadksa on

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grammar spelling
Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors. For example, 'alot' should be 'a lot', 'esseintial' should be 'essential', and 'devocated' should be 'dedicated'. Make sure to proofread your work.
idea development
Develop your ideas more fully to make your arguments clearer. While your essay touches on both sides of the argument, the development is somewhat lacking. Try to elaborate more on each point.
examples
Use more specific and varied examples to support your points. Your examples were somewhat general, and more concrete examples can strengthen your argument.
transitions
Work on your transitions to improve the flow between paragraphs. For instance, 'In one hand' should be 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' is correct, but ensure smooth transitions that guide the reader.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
balanced argument
You successfully addressed both sides of the argument, making your essay balanced.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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