IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #sport
People have different views about whether unpaid
community
service
 should be a mandatory part of secondary school programs. From my point of view, I agree that unpaid
community
service
 should be compulsory because it can help pupils develop life
skills
 and growth prospects. Unpaid
community
service
 provides plenty of opportunities for
students
 to collaborate with their peers because it can train interpersonal
skills
 and show how to be a team player.
For example
, colleges and businesses want to see
students
 strong people
skills
 in a variety of situations.
Additionally
, volunteering lets pupils gain more
experience
 in areas curious about, and it
also
 helps them cultivate their communication
skills
.
This
 activity in high school can help
students
 gain valuable
experience
 and look better on their
resume
Fix the agreement mistake
resumes
show examples
 to show they are
community
-minded when they improve the neighbourhood.
Moreover
, by requiring
students
 to participate in mandatory
community
service
 with charitable organizations, they will be encouraged to be leaders. Leadership
skills
 are life
skills
 and always be prized assets. If a student's trait shows up at work, it means the student can be counted on in professional settings. It sets them apart from other job applicants. In conclusion,
community
service
 should be compulsory.
Students
 should participate more in
community
service
 to help themselves explore their capacities in society. Pupils can learn valuable
skills
 and gain
experience
 through different challenges from significant real-world
experience
 without staying in school learning.
Submitted by CheeseCiao on

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task achievement
Try to address counterarguments to further strengthen your position. This demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic and a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct topic sentence that effectively introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using repetitive phrases and structures. Try to vary your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and sophisticated.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to better illustrate your points. Mentioning different ways community service can benefit students might add more depth to your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, which frame the main discussion points effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
The arguments made are generally logical and supported by relevant points, demonstrating clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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