Some people believed that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Others believe that outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is an ongoing debate about whether it is necessary for
children
to have more responsibilities
or they should have freedom
to do their Add an article
the freedom
favor
. Change the spelling
favour
While
allowing the young generation to be free is valid to some extent, I would side with the idea that they should have extra liabilities in their lives.
It is obvious to note that at a young age, people can feel free and do whatever they want. The key argument is that in
their age, they still have a myriad of things that they have not experienced because they still just follow a routine which their parents give them like going to school, returning Change preposition
at
to
home, doing homework and Change preposition
apply
then
going to sleep. That makes them feel mind-numbing and may mitigate their innovation which is considered as the most miraculous thing of children
. To be specific, if children
can do what they enjoy such
as hanging out with friends or engaging in outdoor activities, their childhood may be more memorable. Hence
, it is not essential to be too strict with children
.
While
the necessity of permitting children
to experience their lives is widely acknowledged, I think having responsibilities
at an early age is also
significant. Added to this
is the fact that it can help children
form the mentality in their mindset. It can be from some basic things like doing housework or helping people so that in the future, they can do those
work by themselves without urging. Particularly, if Correct determiner usage
that
this
habit stays unchanged for a long period of time, children
will do it as some daily things in their lives, which can turn them into mature people. So, children
should have their own responsibilities
.
In my conclusion, although
let
Wrong verb form
letting
children
be free and do
their Wrong verb form
doing
favor
may be good for them, it is still pivotal for us to make them Change the spelling
favour
have
Verb problem
take
responsibilities
for themselves.Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your arguments more concrete and convincing.
language usage
Work on expanding your vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance precision in your language.
content
The introduction is clear and sets up the debate well.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-organized essay with a clear logical structure. Each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next.
task achievement
You provide balanced arguments for both viewpoints which adds depth to your discussion.