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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts compare the percentage of users across different age groups on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube.

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The pie charts show the proportion of
users
Use synonyms
 across different
age
Use synonyms
 groups on three apps:Twitter, Facebook and YouTube.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportions of the
age
Use synonyms
 groups of 35-49 and 18-34 dominate on all three applications.It is evident that the 50-64
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 consistently holds the third-largest position across the graphs. Starting with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Facebook,30% of the 35-49
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 use
this
Linking Words
 app,
slight
Change the adjective
slightly
show examples
 higher than the 29% in the 18-34.The figure for the 50-64
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 exhibits 19%.The percentage of people who use Facebook aged between 18 and 34 comprised 8% ,
whereas
Linking Words
 the people aged between 10 and 17 use
this
Linking Words
 app with 14%.
Similar
Add an article
A similar
show examples
 pattern is seen on YouTube,where the 35-49
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 holds the largest share with 29%.
Users
Use synonyms
 aged 18-34 and 50-64 make up 26% and 20% of the user base ,respectively on the graph. The percentage of YouTube
users
Use synonyms
 from the 10-17 is 15%,and those aged 65 and over account for 10%. Twitter shows different trends. The 18-34
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 represents the largest proportion of
users
Use synonyms
 at a significant 40%, followed by the 35-49
group
Use synonyms
 at 29%.
Users
Use synonyms
 aged 50-64 make up 18% of Twitter's user base,
while
Linking Words
 the 10-17
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 comprises 9%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the 65 and over
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 accounts for the smallest share at 4

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words users, age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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