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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows 4 types of fruits that people in Spain bought from 2000 to 2010.

The graph below shows 4 types of fruits that people in Spain bought from 2000 to 2010.
The line graph demonstrates various types of fruits, namely orange, apple, cherry,
kiwi
Correct word choice
and kiwi
show examples
 consumed by Spanish people in a 10-year
period
Use synonyms
 (2000-2010). Units are measured in
tonnes
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the amounts of all kinds of fruits purchased experienced a decreasing tendency during the whole time, except for orange, which underwent an increase by the end of the
period
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. The apple used to be the type of fruit that was preferred mostly in 2000,
however
Linking Words
, the orange overtook it and became the highest amount by the end of the
period
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. The figure for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
apple consumption, which accounted for nearly 19
tonnes
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 in 2000, sharply dropped to approximately 9
tonnes
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 in 2006 before increasing slightly and reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just above 10
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the orange increased consistently
througouht
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the indicated time frame and became roughly 18
tonnes
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 in 2010. As regards
to
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apply
show examples
the cherry, which underwent a slight decrease over the entire
period
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, decreasing from 10
tonnes
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 in 2000 to nearly 3
tonnes
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 in 2010, despite a growth during 2000 and 2002.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, the kiwi shared almost the same tendency by declining from 7
tonnes
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 to 5
tonnes
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 by the end of the
period
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.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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