The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned

future development of the site.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and

make comparisons where relevant.
Two maps illustrate a current industrial area in Norbiton town and the planned future development of the area. There is a big change between now and the future.
Overall
, constructors of
this
industrial space are going to remove all factories and build new housing buildings and other facilities
such
as playgrounds, schools, shops and medical centres.
Also
, more roads will be constructed. There is a crossing river that
separated
Wrong verb form
separates
show examples
the town and the factory from the farmland. In the future, a new course will be built across the river.
Moreover
, there was only one round centre road in the city but a new round trail will be made below the original trail. Developers will get rid of 8 factory areas and build 7 new housing buildings,
in addition
, one of the residual areas will be in the farmland space.
Lastly
, other facilities like shops and
hospital
Correct article usage
a hospital
show examples
will be near the centre but
playground
Correct article usage
the playground
show examples
and school, the places for children will be located right side of the city.
Submitted by starmino0113 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned future development
  • factories
  • warehouses
  • railway line
  • shopping center
  • residential buildings
  • college
  • mixed-use zone
  • commercial
  • residential
  • educational
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian walkways
  • housing
  • community
  • retail services
  • revitalize
  • quality of life
  • vibrant
  • sustainable
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