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Band 4

Band-9 Samples: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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You recently went to
concert
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a concert
the concert
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 and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer Say how you feel about his performance Give
detail
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details
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 of your musical activities
xplain
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explain
 how you would like him to help you with your musical activities. Dear Sherry, I am Eidson from Hong Kong, I am writing
this
 letter regarding my impression
while
 attending the summer music festival held in Taiwan. It is the first time I have had a chance to listen live performance from you. Your performance is impeccable, I wet my eye when you sang the most popular song.
Moreover
, I really appreciate
on
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apply
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your effort to interact with the audience which
create
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creates
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 a unique experience
to
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for
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 everyone in
this
 event. I am
part-time
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a part-time
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 singer who will play busking at
local
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the local
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 plaza during
weekend
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the weekend
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. Mostly I will create my tuned version of some famous songs from different singers across the world. By the way, I
will
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would
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 be grateful if you could spare
sometimes
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some time
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on
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to
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 listen and comment
my
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on my
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 demo which
in
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is
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 enclosed
on
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in
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this
 letter. It will be
benefit
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beneficial
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 to me greatly
has
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to have
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 some
suggestion
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suggestions
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 from professional
singer
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singers
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 like you. I look forward to hearing back from you Best Regards, Edison
Submitted by andy1031227 on

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task achievement
Your response is well-structured and clear, overall. However, to reach a higher band, ensure you address each part of the prompt with more depth, such as providing more specific details about how and why you perform as a part-time singer.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but some transitions between points could be smoother. Consider using more advanced linking words and phrases to ensure a seamless flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The language is clear, and the ideas are logically structured. This makes the letter easy to read and understand.
task achievement
You have provided a good balance of personal feelings and specific details about your own musical activities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • cutting-edge
  • state-of-the-art
  • modern
  • latest trends
  • competitive edge
  • rejuvenate
  • boost sales
  • consumer excitement
  • brand image
  • saturated market
  • distinguish
  • buzz
  • engagement
  • highlighting updates
  • attracting customers
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