IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given charts represent data regarding global
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 distribution, and
water
Use synonyms
 usage in two different
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the greatest share of global
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 was attributed to agricultural purposes,
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 per person in Brazil owning a vast irrigated land is far higher than in the democratic republic of
Congo
Use synonyms
. To commence with,
although
Linking Words
 all three types of
consumption
Use synonyms
 increased over
given
Correct article usage
a given
show examples
 time, the agriculture portion with some 500 km3 in 1900 rocketed to over 3000 km3 in 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, though industrial and domestic
use
Use synonyms
 started at approximately the same level just around 50 in 1900, industrial
use
Use synonyms
 surpassed the domestic category and reached About 1200 km3 in 2000,
while
Linking Words
 in the
last
Linking Words
 observed year, domestic
use
Use synonyms
 never reached the initial given years of agricultural level.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Brazil with 26500 irrigated land and 359 m3 of
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 per person was over 80 times higher usage figure than
Congo
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
Congo
Use synonyms
 owned only 100km of Land.
additionally
Linking Words
,
Congo
Use synonyms
's population was around a thirtieth of Brazil's population.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, consumption, congo, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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