Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s society, various forms of marketing are increasingly popular for businesses to boost their number of consumers.
One
Use synonyms
can assert that it can successfully persuade people to purchase items.
However
Linking Words
, it can be argued that it is useless to increase the selling rate. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
discuss both
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
views. From my perspective, I agree with
this
Linking Words
statement to a certain extent.
Firstly
Linking Words
, advertisements are useful to a certain extent because they help to raise awareness.
For example
Linking Words
,
posters
Use synonyms
are usually labelled on the
wall
Fix the agreement mistake
walls
show examples
of the streets, which attracts people’s attention.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
can assert that it enables them to be aware of specific
products
Use synonyms
that the
posters
Use synonyms
are advertising.
Hence
Linking Words
, they are more likely to buy the goods.
However
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
can argue that it may not necessarily happen to everyone. Some people may often stay indoors, rather than outdoors, and tend to see
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
advertisements. So they will not be persuaded to consume things.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
we can deny that they are helpless to increase customers to a certain extent,
one
Use synonyms
can advocate that there are still benefits.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, advertising is essential because it allows citizens to have more insights into the
products
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the advantages of the
products
Use synonyms
are usually written
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the advertisements.
As a result
Linking Words
, people who don’t have sufficient information on the details of the product
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can quickly identify the benefits of it to them, who
then
Linking Words
tend to purchase them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
can refute that there are
also
Linking Words
disadvantages that individuals themselves have acknowledged beforehand.
Thus
Linking Words
, they will not change their minds to buy the
products
Use synonyms
after seeing the
posters
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
nevertheless
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
could question that the number of consumers will not potentially rise,
one
Use synonyms
could claim that it certainly helps to influence consumers’ minds. In conclusion, there are both positive and negative factors of advertising. I personally believe that it can enormously persuade them to buy things as the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. With a widespread of
posters
Use synonyms
, they
then
Linking Words
would be able to gain more insights about the
products
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by cherrychan926 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your task achievement is good, but you need to ensure your arguments are more clearly explained and comprehensively covered. Address all parts of the task adequately and make sure you provide a balanced discussion for both views.
coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, try to structure your paragraphs more logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point and follow it up with supporting details. Avoid unnecessary repetition and keep your points concise and to the point.
introduction conclusion present
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your essay well.
relevant specific examples
You provided specific examples to support your arguments, which enhances the task achievement.
complete response
Your essay covers both views, showing that you understand the task requirements.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: