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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Do the advantages of being self-employed outweigh the disadvantages?

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With the coming of new innovations, some changes have happened. Some
people
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 prefer to
work
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 as a freelancer rather than working in a company or organisation, In my opinion, being self-employed has several benefits and
i
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I
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 will outline these in
this
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 essay. one of the reasons that some
people
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 tend to
work
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 self-employed is flexibility because
,
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 comfort place and relaxation play a significant role for them.
Secondly
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, working at home creates the opportunity for them can save time, being self-employed sometimes can be challenging.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should pay attention to their finances to go to higher places in their careers.
However
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, others say that working in the company is the best choice for
people
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 who like to
work
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 with a group.
Additionally
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. it has several advantages, affecting their career and they can gain a reputation within the company. from my perspective,
work
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-life balance is one of the crucial parts of a job
therefore
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people
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 should maintain it
people
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 who
work
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 remotely have several advantages.
For example
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, they can get higher salaries and create their path for their own. Notably, they can spend more time with their family.
Although
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 those
people
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 can be introverted, they can socialize over the internet,
on the contrary
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,
people
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 can get the opportunity, to communicate with real friends within a group and other several benefits. In conclusion,
although
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 having our venture is much better than working for someone.
Nevertheless
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. we should never forget the importance of working under someone's supervision and should always appreciate both equally and
work
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 hard in either of them.

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task achievement
Ensure you clearly outline both the advantages and disadvantages of being self-employed to provide a comprehensive discussion.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. This will enhance the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and be well-developed.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents both advantages and disadvantages of self-employment.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • work-life balance
  • earning potential
  • job satisfaction
  • financial risk
  • irregular income
  • job security
  • financial instability
  • benefits
  • health insurance
  • paid leave
  • retirement plans
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