In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
the
recent years, it Correct article usage
apply
becomes
a trend to move from Wrong verb form
has become
the
rural Correct article usage
apply
areas
to cities
due to
this
phenomenon the population of villages have been
declined. Many citizens are moving to make Wrong verb form
has
better
futureCorrect article usage
a better
of
their families, others believe that it puts Change preposition
for
extra
burden on Add an article
an extra
cities
’ infrastructures such
as expansion
of pollution, transport system,medical , and an Add an article
the expansion
an expansion
increae
in crime rates. In my view it is a negative development if individuals Correct your spelling
increase
moved
out, villagers will suffer Wrong verb form
move
with
the shortage of skilled workers and upcoming developments will stop, for Change preposition
from
this
notion I will provide some examples, why
it is not Change preposition
of why
beneficials
for both rural and Correct your spelling
beneficial
city’s
residents.
On the one hand, the main reason is that residents of rural Change noun form
city
areas
move to cities
for better job opportunities as per their qualifications and they want to send their children to better schools and universities. Another factor is that in metro towns people
get the latest facilities such
as medical, good universities, transport
Correct word choice
and transport
system
, and Fix the agreement mistake
systems
more
convenient for shopping. Correct pronoun usage
it more
For example
, in India, it is very easy to do part time
jobs and if anyone Add a hyphen
part-time
sick
he can rush to the local hospitals in minutes. In villages it is not possible to reach on time at medical facilities, so Add a missing verb
is sick
some time
patients Correct your spelling
sometimes
died
Wrong verb form
die
during
Change preposition
while
traveling
to the hospitals.
Change the spelling
travelling
On the other hand
, the primary reason is that if families moved out from the rural areas
, it will
be a labour shortage for rural industries and shopping centres. Wrong verb form
would
In addition
, the
Correct article usage
apply
further
development will stop and shops will shut down due to
the less sale
of their goods. Fix the agreement mistake
fewer sales
Furthermore
, in cities
the population will increase and it will create many problems Add a comma
cities,
on
Change preposition
with
council’s
infrastructure like Correct article usage
the council’s
Correct article usage
the need
need
Wrong verb form
needing
more
hospitals, Change preposition
for more
increment
of pollution and many Correct article usage
the increment
people
sufferd
Correct your spelling
suffering
with
different diseases. Change preposition
from
In addition
, more crimes will increase and to control these, it will require more police forces and the local people
will lose their jobs and require more houses for the migrants.
In my opinion, increased
population provide more skilled workers, more business to the local businesses, and Correct article usage
the increased
housing
market will boom.Add an article
the housing
Moreover
, universities and schools will get more revenue and they will produce best
students.
In summary, following the analysis of both Correct article usage
the best
sides
Add a comma
sides,
it is clear that
we cannot ignore folks those
are moving from the rural Correct pronoun usage
who
areas
and contributing in
Change preposition
to
cities’
economy but it creates many issues Correct article usage
the cities’
such
as crimes, pollution, need
Correct article usage
the need
more
medical centres and extra infrastructures to manage outsiders. Change preposition
for more
Further
, it is predicted that the movement of people
towards the cities
will continue in the future as well to get better opportunities.Submitted by rbtech65 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Consider avoiding repetitive phrases and ensure your sentences are varied to maintain reader interest.
task achievement
To further improve, try to use more precise vocabulary, and ensure your arguments and examples directly support each other.
task achievement
Work on strengthening your explanations with more detailed and specific examples to make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introductory and concluding paragraph.
task achievement
The response covers both potential positive and negative aspects of the topic, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents clear main points and generally maintains a logical flow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.