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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table illustrates the
percentage
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 of
women
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participation
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 in senior
management
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 in three companies which are Eldan
Ltd
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, Bamforth
Ltd
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 and
Finsbury
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Ltd
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 between 1975 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, all three companies experienced an increase in the
percentage
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participation
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 of
women
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 in senior
management
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 positions from 1975 to 2015.
Although
Linking Words
Finsbury
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Ltd
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 suffered a slight fall from 1975 to 1980 and 1990 to 2000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, senior
management
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 positions are seen to be the most popular among
women
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 who participated in the year
of
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apply
show examples
2015, observed in all three companies.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Eldan
Ltd
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 had a
percentage
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participation
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at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 3% in 1975 which was maintained until 1980. The
percentage
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participation
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then
Linking Words
 grew steadily from 3% in 1980 to 33% in 2000.
This
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 is
then
Linking Words
 followed by an increase of 31
percentage
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 points to 64%, reaching a peak in the year of 2015.
This
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 results in an
overall
Linking Words
 increasing trend for Eldan
Ltd
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Bamforth
Ltd
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 faced a steady growth of 2
percentage
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 points in
participation
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 every five years starting from 9% to 17% in 2000. It
then
Linking Words
 grew dramatically from 17% in 2000 to 46% in 2015.
Lastly
Linking Words
, despite an
overall
Linking Words
 increase in
percentage
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participation
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 in
Finsbury
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Ltd
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, it still faced a slight decrease from 16% in 1975 to 14% in 1980.
However
Linking Words
, after five years, it increased from 14% to 15%,
also
Linking Words
 climbing to 22% in 1990.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1990 to 2000,
Finsbury
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Ltd
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 suffered a 2
percentage
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 point decrease from 22% to 20%. But in five
years
Change noun form
years'
show examples
 time, it rose gradually from 20% to 26%, reaching the company’s highest
percentage
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participation
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 of
women
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 in senior
management
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 positions.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, women, participation, management, ltd, finsbury with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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