Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studing for a qualification.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In our society, there are many ways people can learn. Some people believe that university

students

Use synonyms

want to learn outside of their major, and others believe that spending their time and effort studying for a qualification is more worthwhile. I agree with the view that learning about other subjects

in addition

Linking Words

to their main subjects is important

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it can broaden their field of study. Granted, focusing on studying for a qualification is significant for their future career. After the university graduation, the

students

Use synonyms

should be ready to become a part of the society. Indeed, the realistic preparation for the job to meet the ideal conditions required by the organizations is indispensable for the student. The more they have a deep knowledge of the discipline, the higher they can get a job opportunity.

However

Linking Words

, the importance of interdisciplinary research is increasing these days, which means that those who are only equipped with one major background could be challenged for their employment.

Also

Linking Words

, the factor of creativity is being emphasized in

this

Linking Words

era.

Therefore

Linking Words

giving all their time and attention to studying a qualification could hinder

students

Use synonyms

from creative and innovative thinking.

For instance

Linking Words

, Steve Jobs, an American Entrepreneur brought Apple from near bankruptcy to profitability.

While

Linking Words

other companies placed emphasis on the function of the computers and phones, Jobs had ideas and emphasized the vital role of aesthetics, design and compact size of the phones. He blended strategic business acumen and a design mindset during a time of technological advancement. His creativity led him to climb the ladder of success and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

become the epitome of creativity. To summarise, it is essential for university

students

Use synonyms

to experience other subjects outside of their major. The background knowledge of various fields of study will definitely improve their understanding of their major subject.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it can be the one direct path to be qualified for the company and the world.

Submitted by rainbowlck on Sun Jul 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Consider refining the logical structure of your essay. While the main points are quite clear, the transitions between them can be smoother.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion do a good job of framing your arguments. However, ensure they align tightly with each point made in the body paragraphs.

task achievement

Expand on each point with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help create a deeper understanding of your argument.

task achievement

Your essay provides a well-rounded response to the topic, addressing both perspectives clearly.

task achievement

You included a strong example in the form of Steve Jobs to support your argument about the importance of interdisciplinary learning and creativity.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to guide the reader through your argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot?
In the modern era of technology, we cannot deny the importance of artists like musicians, painters, and writers. Art helps introduce rich culture, tradition, and heritage that science and technology cannot teach.
6
band
The development of toursim contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English become the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?
In recent years, there has been a noticeable trend where many people believe that English will become the only language to be spoken on a global stage due to its prevalence in the tourism industry. In this essay, some merits and demerits of this concept will be examined.
6
band
Some people believe that tourism promotes the economy while other argue that tourism destroy the environment. Discuss both views and give your oppinion
It is considered by several individuals that tourism enriches the economic sector. In contrast, there are others who think that tourism has harmful effects on the environment. In my opinion, I believe that there are some bad behaviours from tourists while are visiting other countries, while they are playing a role in flourishing the economy in every visited country.
<4
band
The rise of remote work has allowed many employees to work from anywhere in the world. However, this trend also presents some challenges.
In recent decades there a number of people increasingly involved with the distance working. Though it as some drawbaes, I believe that the merits of remote work out weight the disadvantages.
7
band
Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?
In recent times, some believe that one of the success keys of a company to grow business faster is to demand their workers to work more. However, this will result in a higher stress level for the majority of employees. In this essay, I will explain two essential reasons for such an issue, which are overrated employer expectations as well as the inability of the staff to manage their time effectively, together with the solution.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studing for a qualification.

Fully explain your ideas

In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

The development of toursim contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English become the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

Some people believe that tourism promotes the economy while other argue that tourism destroy the environment. Discuss both views and give your oppinion

The rise of remote work has allowed many employees to work from anywhere in the world. However, this trend also presents some challenges.

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?