Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studing for a qualification.
In our society, there are many ways people can learn. Some people believe that university
students
want to learn outside of their major, and others believe that spending their time and effort studying for a qualification is more worthwhile. I agree with the view that learning about other subjects in addition
to their main subjects is important,
because it can broaden their field of study.
Granted, focusing on studying for a qualification is significant for their future career. After the university graduation, the Remove the comma
apply
students
should be ready to become a part of the society. Indeed, the realistic preparation for the job to meet the ideal conditions required by the organizations is indispensable for the student. The more they have a deep knowledge of the discipline, the higher they can get a job opportunity.
However
, the importance of interdisciplinary research is increasing these days, which means that those who are only equipped with one major background could be challenged for their employment. Also
, the factor of creativity is being emphasized in this
era. Therefore
giving all their time and attention to studying a qualification could hinder students
from creative and innovative thinking. For instance
, Steve Jobs, an American Entrepreneur brought Apple from near bankruptcy to profitability. While
other companies placed emphasis on the function of the computers and phones, Jobs had ideas and emphasized the vital role of aesthetics, design and compact size of the phones. He blended strategic business acumen and a design mindset during a time of technological advancement. His creativity led him to climb the ladder of success and to
become the epitome of creativity.
To summarise, it is essential for university Fix the infinitive
apply
students
to experience other subjects outside of their major. The background knowledge of various fields of study will definitely improve their understanding of their major subject. Furthermore
, it can be the one direct path to be qualified for the company and the world.Submitted by rainbowlck on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining the logical structure of your essay. While the main points are quite clear, the transitions between them can be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion do a good job of framing your arguments. However, ensure they align tightly with each point made in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on each point with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help create a deeper understanding of your argument.
task achievement
Your essay provides a well-rounded response to the topic, addressing both perspectives clearly.
task achievement
You included a strong example in the form of Steve Jobs to support your argument about the importance of interdisciplinary learning and creativity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to guide the reader through your argument effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.