The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in thr last ten years. Didcuss the causes and effects of this distributing trend.
It is
indend
true that these days people are suffering more from different types of diseases as compared to earlier. It is stated that Correct your spelling
indeed
the
obesity among youth has surged Correct article usage
apply
approximately
20% since Change preposition
by approximately
last
decade in the
western countries. I will discuss the reasons and impacts of Correct article usage
apply
this
negative trend in the subsequent paragraphs.
To commence with, the first and foremost cause for the occurrence of this
disease could be eating more junk food
than having a healthy diet. Almost all kids are addicted to fast food
. This
kind of food
contains no or negligible amount of minerals. However
, it is consists
of plenty of preservatives which adversely Change the verb form
consists
affects
the Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
body
of young adults. This
leads to having
Unnecessary verb
apply
heath-related
problems like obesity and many more. Correct your spelling
health-related
Moreover
, fast food
is easily accessible in every corner of the world. Due to
this
reason, approximately all children can go and eat their favourite food
in their locality.
Furthermore
, Fast food
companies like McDonald
Change noun form
McDonald's
attracts
kids Correct subject-verb agreement
attract
by
their amazing offers Change preposition
with
such
as happy
Capitalize word
Happy
meal
, Fix the agreement mistake
Meals
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
also
have a toy bin in it. Consequently
, that results in the
rise Correct article usage
a
of
Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
the sale
sale
of Fix the agreement mistake
sales
their
fast Correct pronoun usage
apply
food
.
Probing ahead, after having a light on the roots for
the problems that might give rise to the Change preposition
of
body
related issues like overweighting among youngsters. The primary effect of this
might be get
sick often Change the verb form
be getting
due to
weak immunity. This
is because an unfit physique can get infected more easily than a fit one. Other effect
could be that youngsters Change the wording
Another effect
Other effects
that
are suffering from overweighting can Correct pronoun usage
who
becone
victims of Correct your spelling
become
body
shaming in the
schools and colleges. Correct article usage
apply
This
may put
a negative impact on their mental well-being as well. Verb problem
have
Instead
of enjoying their life, overweight young adults can struggle to maintain a healthy and fit body
by practicing
some diets.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
practising
the
fast Correct article usage
apply
food
and having an
not-so -hard approach to it, is the main root cause Change the article
a
in
the increased number of these types of ailments. Change preposition
of
As a consequence
of these types of illnesses, a child may suffer from mental sickness also
.Submitted by simrankaurkaur450 on
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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid minor errors, such as 'indend' instead of 'indeed' and 'overweighting' instead of 'being overweight'.
cohesion
Use connectors and cohesive devices more effectively to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas. For example, phrases like 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' can help to link points together more smoothly.
task response
Include more specific examples and data to support your points. This can help demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and make your arguments more compelling.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame the essay, providing a clear start and end point for your discussion.
task response
The essay addresses the causes and effects of the problem, attempting to cover all aspects of the task.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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