Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, a lot of
people
who have
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
health problems want to try
alternative
medicines
and
treatments
instead
of visiting a professional medical centre. Some
people
argue that
people
cannot believe
an
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
alternative
treatments
on the other hand
, other
people
say there is no problem when we use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. I think except
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
few
treatments
, most of
substitutive
Add an article
the substitutive
show examples
medical methods are negative. Most of
substitutive
Add an article
the substitutive
show examples
treatments
are medically uncertain. Except
exercising
Change preposition
for exercising
show examples
, one of the
alternative
treatments
, unproven
medicines
made by using some natural ingredients are too dangerous to trust and use. Usually, these kinds of
medicines
are conveyed through the myth story to and from the mouth of old
people
and unfortunately,
people
get
dillusion
Correct your spelling
delusion
from
this
and start to believe it.
However
, the fact is very rare supportive ideas about it can be found on the internet.
In other words
, these
medicines
are not
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
as effective in any scientific way so it is too dangerous to believe and use them. Even though
people
need to
warn
Verb problem
take
show examples
alternative
medicines
, exercising
such
as yoga or psychological therapy like art treatment therapy
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
good
treatments
. These methods
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
proven by professionals for a long time and some
people
even study to take related
certification
Fix the agreement mistake
certifications
show examples
. Patients who do not want to eat
chemcial
Correct your spelling
chemical
medicine anymore or have a side-effect of it can choose these ways to figure out their health problems. In conclusion,
alternative
treatments
can be divided in two ways. A medicine made from unchemical ingredients and therapy by exercising or
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
. I think
Correct article usage
the later
show examples
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
method is positive but
prior
Correct article usage
the prior
show examples
method is negative and dangerous.
Submitted by starmino0113 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that all parts of the essay prompt are addressed directly and comprehensively. Expand on why these methods are positive or negative with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition words effectively can aid in making your arguments more seamless and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
In terms of language, ensure clarity and grammatical precision. For instance, avoid small mistakes like "dillusion" instead of "delusion" and "substitutive" when "alternative" is more appropriate.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear position on the topic and has a logical structure.
task achievement
The main points are supported with relevant explanations and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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