People today are suffering more and more stress related problems than in the past. What is the cause of this? What are the possible effects of this development?

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In recent years, the number of stress-related issues
are
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
increasing at an unprecedented rate.
This
trend is mainly
due to
competitive
Correct article usage
the competitive
show examples
job market.
However
,
this
phenomenon could
cause
life-threatening diseases. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss the possible
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
and the effects with relevant examples. The main reason that
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
stress
illness
Correct word choice
and illness
show examples
is the demanding jobs in today's world. In fact, many companies expect their employees to
work
around the clock in order to finish the assigned tasks within the strict
dealines
Correct your spelling
deadlines
, leading to more working hours.
Additionally
, many professionals don't get much time to think about their personal health as they are too much mentally occupied
into
Change preposition
with
show examples
their
work
. Take India
for example
, where many IT professionals often
work
outside their working hours to finish their
work
. These stress-related
problems
could affect the
overall
well-being of a person. If a working professional finishes his assignment outside the office hours, he could have some severe health
problems
including
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unbearable stress.
Moreover
, as per the survey conducted by an esteemed researcher, stress
problems
can
cause
chronic diseases,
such
as depression, which are nearly impossible to treat.
Therefore
, stress-related illnesses could be dangerous for the
overall
health of a person. In conclusion,
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
job market is the main contributor
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
stress-related
problems
, and
this
trend could affect the
overall
fitness of working professionals.
Submitted by kkhurana.vibhu on

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task achievement
A more balanced introduction is essential. Ensure to touch upon all aspects of the question in the opening paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions for a smoother flow. Using phrases like 'Additionally' or 'Moreover' more effectively will link ideas better.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and link them more explicitly to your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and richer in content.
task achievement
Provides clear examples relevant to the topic, such as the situation with IT professionals in India, illustrating the arguments effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, giving a clear end to the essay.

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