The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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As science and technology

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are

show examples

developing so far, some

people

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argue that the standard of

people

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's health will be getting higher in the

future

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than it is now.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, counterparts say that

people

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helath

Correct your spelling

health

will be becoming weak in the

future

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. I agree with the opinion that

people

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will become

not healthy

Rephrase

unhealthy

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as time goes by.

First,

Linking Words

the range of accessing

drug

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drugs

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is getting larger and the level of regulation for it is weaker than

the

Change preposition

in the

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past.

As a result

Linking Words

drug

Fix the agreement mistake

drugs

show examples

can ruin humans' health easily in the

future

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. A few years ago, the

Nederthlands

Correct your spelling

Netherlands

passed the law about allowing to use and

sell

Verb problem

sale of

show examples

drugs

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

marihwana

Correct your spelling

marijuana

marihuana

And after

Correct word choice

After

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that, a lot of European countries and a few cities in the United States of America

also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

tendency.

However

Linking Words

drugs

Use synonyms

have a massive and dangerous impact on

people

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's lives. It will deteriorate

people

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body

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bodies

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and mental in a rapid speed and

this

Linking Words

is proved by lots of celebrities' lives who

addicted

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are addicted

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drugs

Use synonyms

Second,

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the impact of social media gets larger as time goes by,

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people's

Correct word choice

and people's

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physical stamina and mental

healthness

Correct your spelling

health

gets

Correct subject-verb agreement

get

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lower.

According to

Linking Words

the survey asking what

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

people

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usually do in their leisure time,

from

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apply

show examples

the first to second answers are watching YouTube and taking a look

Instagram

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at Instagram

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

, there is

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show examples

scientific study

results

Verb problem

apply

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that

showing

Wrong verb form

shows

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the development of SNS leads to

deterioration

Correct article usage

the deterioration

show examples

of citizens' stamina and mentality. It is obviously right because

instead

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of going out and walking, they spend the

whold

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whole

day with

smartphone

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smartphones

show examples

at their home. In conclusion, because of the high possibility of using

drugs

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and the broad impact of social media, I think

people

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's health is likely to be lower in the

future

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than now. So on, the world needs to find

the

Correct article usage

show examples

solution to make humans healthy.

starmino0113Mon Jul 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance overall flow. Use linking words and phrases to connect your arguments and examples more effectively.

task achievement

Strengthen the clarity of your ideas by avoiding repetitive language and ensuring each sentence directly supports your main argument. Make sure each point is clearly and fully explained with relevant examples or evidence.

task achievement

Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic and outlines well-defined reasons for your viewpoint.

task achievement

The examples given, such as the legal changes regarding drugs in the Netherlands and the impact of social media on health, are relevant and support your argument effectively.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Rich countries often give financial aid to poor countries, but it does not solve poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation, and discourages private vehicle ownership. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Today people have unhealthy diets and do not exercise. What do you think why it is so. What are the reasons? Suggest some solutions for solving this situation.

The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience