Write about the following topic: The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
As science and technology
is
developing so far, some Change the verb form
are
people
argue that the standard of people
's health will be getting higher in the future
than it is now. On the other hand
, counterparts say that people
's helath
will be becoming weak in the Correct your spelling
health
future
. I agree with the opinion that people
will become not healthy
as time goes by.
Rephrase
unhealthy
First,
the range of accessing drug
is getting larger and the level of regulation for it is weaker than Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
the
past. Change preposition
in the
As a result
, drug
can ruin humans' health easily in the Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
future
. A few years ago, the Nederthlands
passed the law about allowing to use and Correct your spelling
Netherlands
sell
Verb problem
sale of
drugs
such
as marihwana
. Correct your spelling
marijuana
marihuana
And after
that, a lot of European countries and a few cities in the United States of America Correct word choice
After
also
follow this
tendency. However
, drugs
have a massive and dangerous impact on people
's lives. It will deteriorate people
's body
and mental in a rapid speed and Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
this
is proved by lots of celebrities' lives who addicted
to Add a missing verb
are addicted
drugs
.
Second,
the impact of social media gets larger as time goes by, people's
physical stamina and mental Correct word choice
and people's
healthness
Correct your spelling
health
gets
lower. Correct subject-verb agreement
get
According to
the survey asking what do
Unnecessary verb
apply
people
usually do in their leisure time, from
the first to second answers are watching YouTube and taking a look Change preposition
apply
Instagram
. Change preposition
at Instagram
In addition
, there is an
scientific study Change the article
a
results
that Verb problem
apply
showing
the development of SNS leads to Wrong verb form
shows
deterioration
of citizens' stamina and mentality. It is obviously right because Correct article usage
the deterioration
instead
of going out and walking, they spend the whold
day with Correct your spelling
whole
smartphone
at their home.
In conclusion, because of the high possibility of using Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
drugs
and the broad impact of social media, I think people
's health is likely to be lower in the future
than now. So on, the world needs to find the
solution to make humans healthy.Correct article usage
a
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coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance overall flow. Use linking words and phrases to connect your arguments and examples more effectively.
task achievement
Strengthen the clarity of your ideas by avoiding repetitive language and ensuring each sentence directly supports your main argument. Make sure each point is clearly and fully explained with relevant examples or evidence.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic and outlines well-defined reasons for your viewpoint.
task achievement
The examples given, such as the legal changes regarding drugs in the Netherlands and the impact of social media on health, are relevant and support your argument effectively.