IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world`s fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#prices #fuels #decade #two #increases #fuel #world #consumption #pressure #world`s #resources
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
However
, the
cost
 of
fuel
 has been increasing dramatically since one or two decades ago, and some discussions say the growth of
fuel
 costs is the only solution for turning down the use of
fuel
 around the world. I disagree with
this
 opinion for two reasons one, raising the
cost
 of
fuel
 has other irreparable risks for
people
 two, some strata of
society
 might not properly understand the purpose of increasing
fuel
 prices. jacking up the price of
fuel
 has other risks for
society
has
Correct word choice
and has
show examples
 a direct impact on
other
Change the wording
another cost
other costs
show examples
cost
. When the
cost
 of fuels rises other things costs increase directly and
this
 matter has a lot of danger for
society
also
 changes their life towards a way which is a low-quality life without a bright future because
people
 are forced to reduce their important expenses and pay for
fuel
 because of doing somethings that are necessary.
For example
, a man has to go to work every day and needs a car to arrive at his workplace or even university he can not stay at home
for
this
 reason
that is
 rising the price of
fuel
 so he forced to pay less for food or his education goals
that is
 not helpful for a
society
 so
this
 is not the best way for using less fuels resources. Some
people
 in
society
 might understand the wrong purpose of increasing
fuel
 prices
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
making
Verb problem
causing
show examples
 some problems. Wrong realization causes
people
`s protest and ultimately creates a divide between
people
 and the government that causes a lot of damage to the
people
 and government and
disturb
Correct subject-verb agreement
disturbs
show examples
 the peace of the
society
.
For example
, when
people
 realize that the government has made something more expensive, they become anxious and in response to
this
anxiety
Add a comma
anxiety,
show examples
 they may do dangerous things like rioting. In conclusion, making
fuel
 costs expensive can not solve the problem of using that less and makes more big issues for both
people
 and
society
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Improve sentence structure and grammar for better readability. For example, instead of 'However, the cost of fuel has been increasing dramatically since one or two decades ago,' try 'Although the cost of fuel has been increasing dramatically over the past decade or two...'
organization
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically from one point to the next. Use transition words to help guide the reader.
content depth
Expand on your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to make your argument stronger.
conclusion
Work on your conclusion to ensure it summarizes your argument effectively without introducing new ideas.
task response
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue.
content points
You have identified two main reasons to support your argument against increasing fuel prices.
examples
The example of how increased fuel prices affect daily life (commuting, education) is relevant and helps to illustrate your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: