IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Eco-tourism often involves visiting remote and fragile ecosystems, which raises concerns about the impact on local cultures and indigenous communities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be resolved?

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These days, the rise in eco-tourism to remote and fragile ecosystems has sparked debate
due to
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 its impact on local cultures and environments.
This
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 essay will explore the problems caused by eco-tourism,
such
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 as
tourists
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' lack of environmental awareness and industrial growth, and propose potential solutions to address these
issues
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. One major problem is the environmental unawareness of
visitors
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. Many
tourists
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 tend to dispose of plastic and food waste irresponsibly, leading to significant environmental
issues
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.
For instance
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, Khao Kho, a popular mountain in Thailand, suffers from extensive littering, especially at its peak.
Additionally
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, the influx of
tourists
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 has led to industrial growth,
such
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 as food production facilities and small power plants, causing soil erosion, air and noise pollution, and water degradation, which negatively impact local communities and wildlife. To address these
issues
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, the government should implement regulations to protect these areas.
This
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 could include limiting the number of
visitors
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 and imposing penalties on industries that harm the environment.
Additionally
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, educating
tourists
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 about local cultures and environmental conservation is essential.
For example
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, in Chiang Mai, authorities limit the number of daily
visitors
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 to national parks and provide environmental guidelines to every tourist, which helps mitigate overcrowding and reduce environmental impact. In conclusion,
while
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 natural areas attract many
tourists
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,
this
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 trend poses serious environmental and cultural challenges
due to
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 a lack of awareness and industrial pollution. To mitigate these
issues
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, it is crucial for governments to enforce protective regulations, penalize harmful industrial activities, and educate
visitors
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 on environmental and cultural preservation.

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task achievement
Ensure to elaborate on the issues mentioned in more detail. Adding more examples of how the presence of tourists negatively impacts local cultures would provide a more comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a solid structure with clear logical flow. However, making smoother transitions between points could further enhance coherence and cohesion. For example, using more transitional phrases would help the essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with an appropriate introduction and conclusion that precisely address the topic.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples, such as the situation in Khao Kho and Chiang Mai, strengthens the argument and makes it more relatable and persuasive.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fragile ecosystems
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural dilution
  • commodification
  • economic disparities
  • resource strain
  • community involvement
  • empowerment
  • sustainable practices
  • ecological footprint
  • responsible behavior
  • fair distribution
What to do next:
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