You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart gives information about
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
of education levels of both 6 different
countries
and genders and their predictions in the
last
year.
Overall
South
Asia
, Arab States and Sub-Saharan Africa had the highest rates of illiteracy ,
while
developed
countries
and Latin American Caribbean was the
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
least person in terms of education . At first
glance
Add a comma
glance,
show examples
we can say that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
female people
had
Verb problem
are
show examples
more illiterate person than
males
in all
countries
.
For example
, ın
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South
Asia
Add a comma
Asia,
show examples
the percentage of uneducated
males
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
around %55
whereas
the
males
were just above %33. The other similar
countries
which are
Arab
Correct article usage
the Arab
show examples
States and
Sub Saharan
Add a hyphen
Sub-Saharan
show examples
Africa's
Change noun form
Africa
show examples
people have had 1/2 figures of
Correct article usage
the male's
show examples
male's
Change noun form
male
show examples
illiteracy ratio respectively slightly under %30 and slightly under %30.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the other developed
countries
, Latin American Caribbean and East
Asia
Oceania had the smallest illiterate percentage for both genders compared to other
countries
because they contained utmost %30
males
and females ,
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
when it comes to developed
countries
, they had approximately %3 illiteracy rates .
As a result
, we can deduce that developed
countries
, Latin America Caribbean and East
Asia
Oceania have more numbers of people who
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a bachelor degree
bachelor degrees
show examples
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
degrees as opposed to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
three
countries
must increase
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
of their residents.
Submitted by kickbox191 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, asia, males with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employed persons
  • job type
  • sex
  • employment figures
  • gender distribution
  • full-time
  • part-time
  • casual
  • professionals
  • managers
  • technicians
  • service workers
  • clerical staff
  • laborers
  • skilled trades
  • predominantly
  • discrepancy
  • proportionally
  • sectors
  • industries
  • dominance
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!