Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?
The migration of youthful
people
from Use synonyms
Use synonyms
countryside
to megapolises and towns is a growing trend worldwide. Add an article
the countryside
This
shift often results in a demographic imbalance leaving only elderly Linking Words
people
to live in the Use synonyms
countryside
Use synonyms
that
causes Correct pronoun usage
which
decline
in the workforce. To Add an article
a decline
adress
Correct your spelling
address
this
problem the infrastructure in Linking Words
Use synonyms
countryside
should be improved. Add an article
the countryside
This
essay will discuss the problems caused by Linking Words
this
and suggest possible solutions.
The main issue is Linking Words
lack
of young workers in social services like healthcare Correct article usage
the lack
that
causes elderly Correct pronoun usage
which
people
to struggle to get Use synonyms
the
access to essential services they need. Correct article usage
apply
This
leads to Linking Words
lower
quality of life for Correct article usage
a lower
auld
citizens. Correct your spelling
all
For instance
, research made by Oxford University students showcases that the percentage of Linking Words
death
rate among old Add an article
the death
people
in Use synonyms
Use synonyms
countryside
is 25 Add an article
the countryside
percent
higher than in big cities.
The solution could be developing Change the spelling
per cent
Use synonyms
countryside
to provide young Correct article usage
the countryside
people
Use synonyms
a
better opportunity to work and live. Add the preposition
with a
This
will increase their standard of living and make them stay. Linking Words
For example
, the newspaper reported that Linking Words
countryside
development has Use synonyms
decreases
the number of migrants.
In conclusion, the migration of young Change the verb form
decreased
people
from Use synonyms
Use synonyms
countryside
poses significant challenges to older citizens. Correct article usage
the countryside
However
, development of Linking Words
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
,
Correct word choice
and, creating
Correct article usage
the creating
creating
Replace the word
creation
job
opportunities, it is possible to mitigate Change preposition
of job
this
problem and ensure the balance.Linking Words
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coherence
Your introduction is clear, but consider rephrasing for better clarity. For instance: 'The migration of young people from the countryside to cities is a growing trend worldwide, which causes demographic imbalances and declines in the countryside workforce.'
coherence
While the essay generally flows well, there are occasional abrupt transitions. Use more linking words and phrases to improve coherence. For example, in the second body paragraph, begin with 'Therefore' or 'Consequently' before presenting the solution.
coherence
Some phrases are informal or not standard, such as 'auld citizens'. Use 'elderly citizens' instead. Proofread for grammar and punctuation errors.
task achievement
The main points are supported, but providing more specific data or examples can strengthen your argument. For example, you could provide more details on the types of infrastructural improvements needed.
task achievement
The essay should address directly how developing the countryside can create job opportunities. You briefly mentioned it, but it could be expanded further with examples.
coherence
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have effectively identified the key problem and offered a solution.
task achievement
The issue of the elderly struggling to access essential services is clearly explained and relevant.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.