IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

You recently started commuting to work by bicycle and discovered that there is a problem with bicycle parking near the building where you work. 1) Explain the reason for using a bicycle to commute 2) what problems have you encountered with parking 3) what are your recommendations to solve the problem

#work #bicycle #reason #recommendations
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to bring your attention to the unavailability of parking space for
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 in your building. I am house that you
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 solve it as soon as possible.
Due to
 the road
repairing
Replace the word
repair
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 work going on
besides
Change preposition
beside
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 our office, there is heavy jam during the morning hours.
Therefore
, I have switched from my private car to a "
two- wheeler
Correct your spelling
two-wheeler
show examples
"
instead
.
Furthermore
,
this
 would
also
 help me contribute to
mitigate
Change the verb form
mitigating
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 the detrimental impact of air pollution caused
due to
 CO2 emissions from a car. There is adequate space provided for cycles,
however
Add a comma
however,
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 the car owners park their vehicles
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these spaces
instead
. Unfortunately , I have to spend my time
to search
Change the verb form
searching
show examples
 for parking spots which has led me
being
Change the verb form
to be
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 late to work
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 multiple occasions. It would be great if you
display
Wrong verb form
displayed
show examples
 a notice in the area asking the
cars
Change the noun form
car
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 owners to park their vehicles in designated areas.
Further
, I would appreciate if there are fines imposed on the individuals who break the parking rules.
Thankyou
Correct your spelling
Thank you
show examples
 for your kind consideration I look forward to hearing from you. Yours Faithfully, Kinnari
Submitted by nihalshetty384 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity and coherence, work on sentence structure and ensure smooth transitions between ideas. For example, connect your reasons with the problems encountered and the solutions proposed.
task achievement
Make sure to fully answer the prompt's sub-questions with more specific and elaborated responses. For instance, detail the impact of searching for parking spots on your daily routine more thoroughly.
task achievement
The letter addresses all points of the task, including the reasons for using a bicycle, the problems faced, and recommendations for improvement.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the letter is clear, with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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