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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the number of international applicants to the universities of one European country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the number of international applicants to the universities of one European country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The bar chart illustrates the number of international
applicants
Use synonyms
 from China,
Japan
Use synonyms
, the
USA
Use synonyms
, and Russia to the universities of a particular European country between 2004 and 2008.
According to
Linking Words
 the figures, in 2004
Chinese
Use synonyms
applicants
Use synonyms
 were the most numerous, reaching around 28,000, followed by the
USA
Use synonyms
 with approximately 23,000
applicants
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 and Russia had significantly fewer
applicants
Use synonyms
, with about 8,000 and 5,000 respectively. By 2005, the number of
Chinese
Use synonyms
applicants
Use synonyms
 decreased to about 22,000,
while
Linking Words
applicants
Use synonyms
 from the
USA
Use synonyms
 slightly dropped to 20,000.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 saw a modest increase to 10,000, and Russian
applicants
Use synonyms
 remained stable at around 5,000. It can be seen that from 2006 to 2008
Chinese
Use synonyms
 applicant
numbers
Use synonyms
 slightly decreased but
then
Linking Words
 rose again, peaking at approximately 27,000 by 2008.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
USA
Use synonyms
 experienced a rise in 2006 to around 22,000 and continued to increase, reaching 24,000 by 2008.
However
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
’s
numbers
Use synonyms
 steadily grew, reaching 15,000 by 2007 and maintaining that level in 2008. Russian
applicants
Use synonyms
 remained the lowest throughout the period, with minimal fluctuations, around 5,000 to 6,000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Chinese
Use synonyms
 and American
applicants
Use synonyms
 consistently dominated in
numbers
Use synonyms
, with China leading most years.
Japan
Use synonyms
 showed a steady increase,
while
Linking Words
 Russian applicant
numbers
Use synonyms
 were the lowest and relatively stable.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words applicants, japan, usa, chinese, numbers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international applicants
  • universities
  • European country
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • fluctuation
  • growth
  • decline
  • peaks
  • troughs
  • applicants
  • institutions
  • attracting
  • seasonal trends
  • specific years
  • significant changes
  • policy changes
  • global events
  • diversity
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