The most important aim of science should be to improve the people's lives . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

These days ,
science
has become a crucial segment of our lives. Some
people
assume that the core objective of
science
should be to better the human's lives . I totally agree with
this
idea and in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
,
science
enlarged the average life span of
people
. In recent years, seven out of eight babies died before reaching their first birthday but now with the advancement in the medical field diseases can be easily controlled.
For instance
, in 2022, American laboratories discovered the COVID-19 vaccine which saved the lives of numerous
people
across the whole world .
Furthermore
,transportation has become more convenient due the
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
innovations.
For example
,
last
year in India NASA inaugurated the automatic driverless train which made the life of
people
too much comfortable . It
also
reduced the travel time and
connects
Wrong verb form
connected
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several stations from Delhi to Hyderabad.
Conversely
, excessive use of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
makes the children dull and unhealthy because they spend most of their time on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
which weakens their eyesight and they
also
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
tired. In conclusion, the main objective of technology must be to
facilitate
Verb problem
provide
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
with modern amenities. I personally think that
science
should make more innovation for the betterment of society .
Submitted by mianraza686 on

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introduction conclusion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion. While they are present, more specific context about why you agree would strengthen your argument.
supported main points
Ensure each main point is fully developed and clearly explained. For example, adding more details about how scientific advancements in transportation improve lives could enhance your point.
relevant specific examples
While you have given examples, more varied and detailed examples could enrich your essay further. Consider adding examples beyond the medical and transportation fields to show a broader understanding of science's impact.
logical structure
Your essay has a solid logical structure, making it easy to follow your main arguments.
supported main points
You appropriately highlighted significant scientific advancements in medicine and transportation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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