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Band 2.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books beacause they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books #beacause
In the near
future
Add a comma
future,
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people
 are not going to buy printed things like newspapers and
books
 because everything will be online and free.Well,there are some
people
 who are for
this
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 and others who are
against
Correct pronoun usage
against it
show examples
. On the one
people
 who are for
this
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 have their own reasons .
For example
, they say that the world is improving and the printed newspapers and
books
 are going to be old and replace it with
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 improved copy is better because it's easier to read and to faster.Another example is that
,
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apply
show examples
 they think that reading online is better for saving money because it's free for everyone and you don't have to pay money to read anything.
On the other hand
,
people
 who are against have their own reasons.First of all, they believe that online reading can harm
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies in many ways and that will lead to the end of
books
 and
newspapers
Fix the agreement mistake
newspaper
show examples
 publishing because they will get no profit from it.
Moreover
,they reckon that E-reading is going to harm you as it can affect the vision. To
coclude
Correct your spelling
conclude
 we can say that, reading
books
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
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 is useful and good it's
agood
Correct your spelling
a good
good
 source to improve
you
Change the pronoun
your
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 self.
In addition
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
I
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totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
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 with the idea
of
Change preposition
that
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 reading E-
books
 is better because it's easier , faster ,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
 comfortable to read and
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 forget that
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 saves money.
Submitted by yousefreyad55 on

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer and more focused thesis statement in the introduction to provide a strong direction for the discussion.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are well-supported with relevant examples and explanations for higher clarity and comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow and connection between sentences and paragraphs to enhance overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of words and phrases to ensure a more varied and sophisticated vocabulary.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphs with distinct points of discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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