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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the level of life satisfaction and income in America.

The bar chart shows the level of life satisfaction and income in America.
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The bar chart gives information about the changes in well-being in relation to the
income
Use synonyms
 earned by individuals in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the happiest
income
Use synonyms
 group are those, who earn over $ 500,000 a
year
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who earn under $ 10,000 a
year
Use synonyms
 report high levels of unhappiness. The
people
Use synonyms
, who have
income
Use synonyms
 between $10,000-$20,000 and $ 40,000-$50,000 a
year
Use synonyms
 have almost the same levels of satisfaction.The level of individuals,who are very satisfied is around 47%- 57%, between 23%-33% of some
people
Use synonyms
 are just satisfied.
Also
Linking Words
, 10%-21% of
people
Use synonyms
 are dissatisfied and around 4-11% of
people
Use synonyms
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 dissatisfied in their
life
Use synonyms
. There is quite a similarity between the
income
Use synonyms
$
Change preposition
of $
show examples
50,000-$75,000 and $ 100.000-$150,000 a
year
Use synonyms
. The level of
people
Use synonyms
 ,who are very satisfied is around 64%-72% and 26%-33% of individuals satisfied with their
life
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 category has just around 2%-5% of some
people
Use synonyms
 dissatisfied.
Most
Correct article usage
The most
show examples
 positive category of
people
Use synonyms
 is between $150 000-$250 000 and more than $ 500.000
Use synonyms
income
Change preposition
in income
show examples
 per
year
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 category around 90%-100% of
people
Use synonyms
 are very satisfied with their
life
Use synonyms
 and a little part of
people
Use synonyms
 have
life
Use synonyms
 satisfaction.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, year, people, life with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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