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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the level of life satisfaction and income in America.

The bar chart shows the level of life satisfaction and income in America.
The bar chart gives information about the changes in well-being in relation to the
income
Use synonyms
 earned by individuals in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the happiest
income
Use synonyms
 group are those, who earn over $ 500,000 a
year
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who earn under $ 10,000 a
year
Use synonyms
 report high levels of unhappiness. The
people
Use synonyms
, who have
income
Use synonyms
 between $10,000-$20,000 and $ 40,000-$50,000 a
year
Use synonyms
 have almost the same levels of satisfaction.The level of individuals,who are very satisfied is around 47%- 57%, between 23%-33% of some
people
Use synonyms
 are just satisfied.
Also
Linking Words
, 10%-21% of
people
Use synonyms
 are dissatisfied and around 4-11% of
people
Use synonyms
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 dissatisfied in their
life
Use synonyms
. There is quite a similarity between the
income
Use synonyms
$
Change preposition
of $
show examples
50,000-$75,000 and $ 100.000-$150,000 a
year
Use synonyms
. The level of
people
Use synonyms
 ,who are very satisfied is around 64%-72% and 26%-33% of individuals satisfied with their
life
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 category has just around 2%-5% of some
people
Use synonyms
 dissatisfied.
Most
Correct article usage
The most
show examples
 positive category of
people
Use synonyms
 is between $150 000-$250 000 and more than $ 500.000
Use synonyms
income
Change preposition
in income
show examples
 per
year
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 category around 90%-100% of
people
Use synonyms
 are very satisfied with their
life
Use synonyms
 and a little part of
people
Use synonyms
 have
life
Use synonyms
 satisfaction.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, year, people, life with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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