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Band 4.5

Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#technology #education #people #trend #consequences
That right
technology
 is being used in everything these days not just in education. and it has many advantages and disadvantages for the students,teachers,and the company that runs the
school
. let's start talking about some of the good
things
 in
technology
.The crowded streets are
one
 of the most annoying
things
 in the
school
 way every day. You can see that after COVID-19 and after the online study
one
 likes
this
 type of study because no
one
 has to care about going early to
school
 to avoid the crowded streets. I think
this
 is the best thing about
technology
 in education.
however
.there are some negative points about
this
 way of using
technology
. the biggest
one
 is the students are become more lazy and
that is
 a very very bad habit we need to find a solution to
this
 problem.
For example
, my brother uses the laptop for too many hours and hours every day
instead
 of reading a book or writing using pen and paper. which is some sort of
technology
. in my opinion.
technology
 is
one
 of the best
things
 in the
last
 decades. everything is easier with it , studying, searching,reading, contact with your
school
 and many other good
things
 that you can use it for,but don't make your whole life about it.
Submitted by Torkeyfisal.2015 on

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task achievement
Ensure to clearly present both sides of the argument. The essay briefly touches upon the benefits and drawbacks but doesn't elaborate with sufficient details on each point.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a clear introduction and conclusion to strengthen the essay structure. Summarizing main points in the conclusion helps in forming a cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating words or phrases like 'very very' and try to use more varied vocabulary—seek to use complex and compound sentences for better expression.
task achievement
Expand on examples to support your points more effectively, and ensure they are directly relevant to the argument being made.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both the positive and negative aspects of technology in education, showing an understanding of the prompt.
task achievement
Use of a personal example ('my brother uses the laptop') adds a personal touch, making the argument more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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