Some people think that it is better for high school students to study a wide range of subjects than to focus on a narrow range of subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
society
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societies
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believe that studying a wide
range
of
subjects
in school is essential for high school
students
,
while
some argue that being focused only on several
subjects
is better. In my opinion, I agree that being focused on a specific
ranges
Correct the article-noun agreement
range
show examples
of
subjects
is a better option, considering the advantages that it has.
To begin
with, focusing only on a narrow
range
of
subjects
provides you more time to do other errands or activities,
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
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hobbies. It is undeniable that learning some academic matters is crucial.
However
, doing other activities is
also
important as well to keep our emotional health fit, considering that studying is likely stressful for some people.
For example
, if they keep the balance between learning and doing
such
good activities, they will be less stressed because the body will stimulate hormones to reduce overwhelming feelings.
Moreover
, learning
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
subjects
consistently helps
students
to gain more information about the
subjects
. I believe that
students
who are learning
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
range
of
studies
will have lots of materials to read, making them have
difficult
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difficulty
show examples
in
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apply
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understanding or to memorize the information provided.
In contrast
,
students
who have
small
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a small
show examples
range
of
studies
have more possibilities to gain and retain what they read,
thus
, they have
profound
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a profound
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understanding
about
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of
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the materials.
For instance
, it is seen that people can be experts in any field because they did not study
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
range
of
subjects
, but learned and focused on one single subject that eventually made them
as
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apply
show examples
expertises
Correct your spelling
expertise
show examples
in their fields. In conclusion, learning all
studies
leads
students
to have less time to do other errands and makes them struggle to obtain
further
information about specific
studies
.
Consequently
, it is better
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
to pick the
subjects
that they like in order to be experts.
Submitted by firmansyahafandy99 on

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task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the prompt and contains relevant arguments. However, you should ensure that each point is fully developed and supported with more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your arguments. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next and that all sentences within a paragraph follow a clear, coherent line of thought.
grammar vocabulary
You might want to work on expanding your vocabulary to make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting your argument effectively.
task achievement
The main points you discussed are relevant to the prompt and present a clear stance on the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded
  • interdisciplinary
  • curriculum
  • specialization
  • mastery
  • core curriculum
  • elective options
  • educational systems
  • extracurricular activities
  • job market trends
  • skill set
  • academic rigor
  • vocational skills
  • cognitive flexibility
  • career trajectory
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