Some people think that it is better for high school students to study a wide range of subjects than to focus on a narrow range of subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
society
believe that studying a wide Fix the agreement mistake
societies
range
of subjects
in school is essential for high school students
, while
some argue that being focused only on several subjects
is better. In my opinion, I agree that being focused on a specific ranges
of Correct the article-noun agreement
range
subjects
is a better option, considering the advantages that it has.
To begin
with, focusing only on a narrow range
of subjects
provides you more time to do other errands or activities, such
us
hobbies. It is undeniable that learning some academic matters is crucial. Correct your spelling
as
However
, doing other activities is also
important as well to keep our emotional health fit, considering that studying is likely stressful for some people. For example
, if they keep the balance between learning and doing such
good activities, they will be less stressed because the body will stimulate hormones to reduce overwhelming feelings.
Moreover
, learning less
Change the quantifier
fewer
subjects
consistently helps students
to gain more information about the subjects
. I believe that students
who are learning wide
Add an article
a wide
range
of studies
will have lots of materials to read, making them have difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
in
understanding or to memorize the information provided. Change preposition
apply
In contrast
, students
who have small
Add an article
a small
range
of studies
have more possibilities to gain and retain what they read, thus
, they have profound
understanding Add an article
a profound
about
the materials. Change preposition
of
For instance
, it is seen that people can be experts in any field because they did not study wide
Add an article
a wide
range
of subjects
, but learned and focused on one single subject that eventually made them as
Change preposition
apply
expertises
in their fields.
In conclusion, learning all Correct your spelling
expertise
studies
leads students
to have less time to do other errands and makes them struggle to obtain further
information about specific studies
. Consequently
, it is better to
Change preposition
for
students
to pick the subjects
that they like in order to be experts.Submitted by firmansyahafandy99 on
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task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the prompt and contains relevant arguments. However, you should ensure that each point is fully developed and supported with more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your arguments. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next and that all sentences within a paragraph follow a clear, coherent line of thought.
grammar vocabulary
You might want to work on expanding your vocabulary to make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting your argument effectively.
task achievement
The main points you discussed are relevant to the prompt and present a clear stance on the issue.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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