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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked  visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer  service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the  years 2005 and 2010.

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked  visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer  service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the  years 2005 and 2010.
#show #results #questionnaire #visitors #parkway #hotel #customer #service #guests #years
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The
given
Verb problem
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pie charts compare the views of
people
 who utilized the Parkway
hotel
Capitalize word
Hotel
show examples
 customer service in the years
of
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apply
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2005 and 2010.
Overall
, in 2010 the point of
people
 who used
to
Change preposition
apply
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this
hotel
 was significantly higher than
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 2005 result. It can be seen that, in 2005 the score of
people
 who commented
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfied
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to
Change preposition
with
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this
hotel
 was as
highest
Replace the word
high
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 as those of other
comments
 with 45%. The score of
people
people
 who said poor to
this
hotel
stanted
Correct your spelling
stayed
 at 21%
with
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apply
show examples
following far behind to previous comment. In terms of other
comments
, they were made up
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 34 per cent
colectively
Correct your spelling
collectively
. In 2010, the
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
comments
 which were  voted to Parkway
hotel
Capitalize word
Hotel
show examples
 were higher than those of the percentage of other
comments
.The comment which was said good , it increased by 25 per cent from 14%to 39%. Another interesting point from the chart is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the percentage of
comment
Fix the agreement mistake
comments
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 which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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told
Verb problem
apply
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the
Correct article usage
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satisfactory decreased steadily
with17
Correct your spelling
with 17
% if we compare the result of 2005. In terms of
other figure
Change the wording
another figure
other figures
show examples
 of
Fix the agreement mistake
comments
show examples
comment
Add a comma
comment,
show examples
 they
were not changed
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have not changed
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 significantly apart from the proportion of
comment
Fix the agreement mistake
comments
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 which was considered
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor comment.
Submitted by chartakinnovation on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, hotel, comments with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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