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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

the bar chart given below shows the average rainfall for australia by month for last yeare. the line shows the average rainfall for australia by month for last 40 years.

the bar chart given below shows the average rainfall for australia by month for last yeare. the line shows the average rainfall for australia by month for last 40 years.
#bar #rainfall #australia #month #yeare #line #years
The provided chart gives information about the number of
rainfall
 in
Australia
 by
month
 for
last
year
 and how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
rainfall
 was in
Australia
 for the
last
 40 years provided by
line
Add an article
a line
show examples
 graph. It is obviously seen that the majority of
rainfall
 was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
beginning
Add an article
the beginning
show examples
 of the
year
. Namely January, February and March,
whereas
 the fewest had in October and August. Getting back to the details the most
rainfall
 for
Australia
 for
last
year
 by
month
 was in January,
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 the figure was close to 65
mm
,
whereas
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
 of summer and
beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning
show examples
 of two
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
 of autumn recorded the lowest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rainfall
,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 made up under 10
mm
. The remaining months were average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rainfall
 and it accounted
between
Change preposition
for between
show examples
 20 and 40
mm
. Average
rainfall
 in
Australia
 over the past 40 years is almost the same indicators as
last
year
. In January the indicator was 80
mm
 and in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
month
 of
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 was approximately 65
mm
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, whereas".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rainfall, australia, month, year, mm with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

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