The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Undeniably, with the development of
science
and technology, our planet is being polluted by the green house
gas or chemicals released by human beings, and Correct your spelling
greenhouse
such
a fact leads impressionable people
to generate the opinion that the vitalest target of science
should not be to improve people
's lives
. However
, such
a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined particularly. As far as efficiency
, equality and environment
are concerned, I strongly hold that the most important aim of Correct article usage
the environment
science
should be to improve people
's lives
.
First and foremost, most of the techniques were invented to improve efficiency
. To be specific, if a technology can improve the efficiency
of production, workers are no longer required to do the repeative
things in a factory, Correct your spelling
repetitive
instead
, they only need to operate the machines. And high
Correct word choice
High
efficiency
means workers will have more time of
themselves, so they can spend more time enjoying Change preposition
for
lives
, which Correct pronoun usage
their lives
improve
their Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
lives
.
Furthermore
, nowadays many companies are trying to use technology to help the disabled. Take the case of Boston Dynamics, which is a company famous for robots, Correct pronoun usage
which are
are
trying to develop robotic arms and legs. These products can be equipped by disabled Correct subject-verb agreement
is
people
directly, and they can be easily controled
using Correct your spelling
controlled
people
's mind
, which are just like Fix the agreement mistake
minds
people
's real arms and legs. The company are doing their best to enhance the equality between the disabled and the normal, which will definately
improve Correct your spelling
definitely
people
's lives
.
Nevertheless
, a voice arises that our environment are
polluted "thanks to" the development of Change the verb form
is
science
. Ironically, it's science
that reduces the release of Add an article
a science
the science
green house
gas and other pollution released by humans. Actually, more and more scientists are doing research about reducing harmful and useless things generated in the process of production, and they have already made some Correct your spelling
greenhouse
progess
. What's more, the biggest company, Apple, claimed that they Correct your spelling
progress
have
reduced 90% of the release of Unnecessary verb
apply
green house
gas Correct your spelling
greenhouse
last
year, which is a really exciting news
.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that the Remove the article
really exciting news
a piece of really exciting news
vitalest
aim of Change the word
most vital
science
should be to improve people
's lives
, instead
of ruining it
.Correct pronoun usage
them
Submitted by RaymondHuang
on
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grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy to ensure clarity and precision in your arguments. Phrases like 'which improve their lives' should be 'which improves their lives.'
development
Expand on each of the main ideas with further explanation and examples to strengthen the arguments. This will make your essay more comprehensive.
vocabulary
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing.
example
You provide relevant examples (e.g., Boston Dynamics and Apple) to support your arguments, which helps to substantiate your claims.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.