In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
The way of storing
knowledge
changed from books to the internet
in the past decades. Capitalize word
Internet
This
led to the controversial issue debating
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of debating
on
the topic Change preposition
apply
whether
the change of place where Change preposition
of whether
people
stored their knowledge
contributed to positive or negative outcomes. However
, after a thorough consideration, though it provides some drawback
, it is strongly believed that the beneficial parts should not be put down by any chance.
It is undeniable that the Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
information
on the internet
could be inaccurate, meaning that people
could be easily misunderstood on each topic. As anyone could write an article and provide any information
online this
could lead to the misunderstanding of the public. For instance
, Wikipedia is a website that provides information
for people
which could be altered by anyone. Some might have bad intentions and alter the information
in
that website to be inaccurate. Change preposition
on
Nevertheless
, there are some potential benefits of providing knowledge
online that should be taken into account.
The first crucial reason is that the knowledge
provided on the internet
could create opportunities to learn for people
all over the world. The information
stored on the internet
is a treasure for many types of people
as there is a plethora of informative stuff online such
as the
images, videos, mind maps, journals and articles. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, students who study mathematics could find some videos that could improve their understanding about
calculus online.
Change preposition
of
Furthermore
, the information
on the internet
is hard to demolish compared to those stored in a physical form which is on papers
or books. Fix the agreement mistake
paper
While
the book can be destroyed or burned down, the internet
has many platforms that could
store the Wrong verb form
can
information
forever. This
could be seen in the past where
lots of journals Correct word choice
when
of
scientists Change preposition
apply
are
destroyed which Wrong verb form
were
make
their precious Wrong verb form
made
knowledge
completely lost.
In conclusion, it is inarguable that to keep
Change the verb form
keeping
the
Correct article usage
apply
information
on the internet
could led
to some inaccuracy, Change the verb form
lead
be led
therefore
it could be considered as
a resourceful place that can be entered by anyone which is an opportunity for many Change preposition
apply
people
. Moreover
, the information
stored in
the Change preposition
on
internet
is durable and hard to destroy compared to those in the books.Submitted by pattaraporn.konj on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay is quite well-organized, there are a few points where connections could be stronger. For instance, linking phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Lastly' could help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
There is a need for more specific examples to support your main points. For instance, when discussing the durability of information on the internet, you could mention cloud storage and data backup processes.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, but it would be beneficial to make the thesis statement more explicit. This would help in setting clear expectations for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and conclusion, which enhances the readability.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the pros and cons of storing knowledge on the internet versus books, showing a balanced viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The essay is overall clear and concise, making it easy for the reader to follow your argumentation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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